Why Sadhguru believes discipline should begin with parents, not children

In discussions about parenting, discipline has been considered something which has to be imposed upon children by means of regulations and discipline. But Jaggi Vasudev, a spiritual leader and yoga guru, has a more compelling and thought-provoking viewpoint on this topic. According to him, unless and until mothers and fathers in a family are disciplined and aware, they will not be able to bring discipline to their children either. Children are imitators, not quotas, he says. What the mothers and fathers are is more important than what they say.Children learn more by observing rather than by instruction“The way children learn values is not by listening to words. Children learn by observing. If children see their parents woke up early in the morning, dealing with their emotions in a cool and calm way, taking up responsibilities in a conscious and aware manner, it will be picked up by the children. If children are made to be disciplined in a family where everything is unorganised, and everyone is stressed out, it will create a conflict in the children’s minds between what is right and what is happening around them. Discipline is not something you teach; it is something you catch,” says Sadhguru. Discipline is more about self-expression, self-actualisation, and self-controlAs Sadhguru says, “Discipline is not about forcing obedience, but about generating equilibrium within.” If parents can be calm, aware, and emotionally balanced, then the environment in the home will be balanced as well. Children will then feel secure and will be organised of their own accord. However, when parents think in terms of controlling, punishing, and scaring their children, then discipline in children will only be external and, of course, fleeting.The emotional tone of the home is set by parentsSadhguru’s views on the subject are that the behavior of a child is a function of the emotional condition of the parents. “Often children’s ways are a reflection of the stress and anxiety that the parents are living with. The parents’ anger sometimes translates into the child’s agitation and rebellion. To change the child is a wrong approach; the adult has to first change themselves and change the way they are emotionally disposed every day. Parents who learn to react instead of acting are the first step towards giving the child the ability to control themselves ”Consistency in parents results in natural disciplineChildren love consistency, not strictness. Sadhguru goes on to point out: “If parents are consistent, the child will have a sense of clarity. But if the child is exposed to contradictory utterances, he will lack discipline. A person who is particular about time, health, and honesty will, through his example, unnoticeably instil these qualities into his child.” Uniformity discourages the reinstatement of correction, as the child will conform to what’s being practised.Bringing yourself up before bringing up a child Sadhguru’s central teaching is that parenting is all about improving oneself and not the child. If parents focus on increasing awareness and working on self-discipline, children will automatically become better. The result is that discipline becomes an ingrained beat of life. As Sadhguru believes, the best parents change not children but themselves.