6 reasons why teens struggle to open up to parents

Adolescence is a period associated with mood swings, gaining independence, and a deep-seated need for understanding. Many parents have wondered why the chatty child they once had is now quiet or distant. It may seem like the teenager is withdrawing or being but the reality is that they find it difficult to communicate owing to feelings of fear, confusion, or being misunderstood. It is important to understand the actual explanation for the silence, enabling the parent to react with empathy, not irritation, to this most vulnerable developmental period of adolescence.

Teenagers tend to keep things to themselves because the truth often causes them to be punished rather than being understood. When experiences with the truth evoke punishment, rather than understanding, teenagers learn to pick and choose when to open up or when to keep things to themselves. They feel as if they might lose their freedom and trust.

Teenage emotions are very complex and strong. If parents rush to give solutions without listening intently, teenagers may be misunderstood. “It’s not a big deal” discourages the feeling. There may be an emotional distance created. Teenagers like to be understood before being advised. When understood, teenagers open up to talk.

With the increasing years, adolescents require more autonomy. Being open with them is equivalent to letting go of control or freedom. This is because the adopted openness might result in the opposite, such as being checked on or restricted. Trust is highly significant during this phase.

It can be difficult for many teens to verbalise and identify emotions since those words may not yet be available to them. Confusion and stress can lead to identity shifts that can be too much to handle. When teens can't identify their emotions easily, it can be much simpler for them to opt for silence instead. When parents help teens identify their emotions instead of pushing them for communication, it can turn out to be very helpful for both parties

The best way to reach a teen is not to offer an answer but to offer understanding. If every conversation is a lesson and a lecture, a teen becomes closed off. Hearing without fixing is a good way to build respect. When a parent is looking to connect and not correct, a teen will feel safe to open up.