Divorce expert reveals five hints your marriage is in trouble (and how to fix it)

Marriage doesn’t end overnight. It fades slowly. A series of disconnections occurs before it completely breaks up. But the truth is, this gradual emotional distance often goes unnoticed. The key to a healthy marriage is understanding what went wrong. Jennie Sutton, an award-winning divorce coach and founder of Untying the Knot, shared five red flags indicating when a relationship needs urgent attention and intervention.

Talking to Mirror UK, Sutton explained that the feeling of loneliness is a crucial sign that your marriage is in trouble. “Loneliness in a marriage feels like a room stripped bare – the walls are still there, but the warmth, colour and vitality have faded,” she said. Feeling alone, even when you are with your partner, signals something serious about your relationship. Sutton suggests couples try reconnecting with each other. Learn your partner’s love language, and respond in exactly that way.

How to heal? Small but regular gestures can do the trick. Make your partner a coffee, the way they like it, or leave a short note of appreciation. These micro-habits will eliminate loneliness over time.

Is a marriage alive and kicking if all you fantasize about is getting a break from your partner? If your partner intentionally finds excuses to spend time away from you, it’s a warning sign. A healthy relationship does not necessarily require a reset button.
You can fix this. “See alone time as a break from the stresses and strains that you carry together. And when you’re back together, share your solo experiences together. Start to discover each other as two full people, not two halves who might be suffocating each other,” Sutton said.

If your partner feels they’ve lost the person they used to be, it spells trouble. When you feel like ‘you’ disappeared into ‘us’, it is a concerning sign. Marriage is, of course, a collaborative process. However, that doesn’t necessarily mean losing your individuality. Relationships thrive when both partners feel alive individually.

Sutton, of course, knows how to fix this. “Embrace your old passions, and find some new ones, whether it’s painting, acting, singing, reading, hiking or salsa dancing. Not only will you feel more alive, but your partner gets to see you as the whole person you’ve always been.”

Do you dodge questions about your partner? If yes, it definitely needs evaluation. Why do you avoid talking about your partner to your family and friends? This is one of the biggest red flags in a relationship. There could be some unresolved emotions making you subconsciously delete them from the conversation.

You can heal this. “Consider seeing a third party, such as a coach, therapist, or even a trusted friend, who can try to understand why you’re doing this,” the expert suggested.

Do you avoid conflicts just because you know how they will end? Well, this is not a good sign. This happens because you fear that arguments fall into the same pattern. They deflect, and you shrink. But you can break free from it.
Here’s how to fix it, according to the relationship expert. “Break this cycle by creating a daily rewind – allow yourselves to have 15 minutes to chat about what went well, what could’ve gone better, and if you could have the row again, what would you change? Interactions like this increase connection. Over time, you might start to notice subtle shifts, for example, more willingness to explore each other’s perspective, and a sense that your partner is on the same page,” she said.