Trumpiana: Playing Santa, the Don runs away with all the goodies for himself

Stealing Santa Clause’s hat, Donald Trump set out to make his own naughty and nice list. Topping the list of nice guys was — you guessed it — Trump “President of Peace. Results for America.”

Lest anyone forget, the White House reminded that he had “Ended 8 wars; NATO 5% spending, USAID reformed; Historic agreements to secure the border; and War on drug cartels.”




Then donning the Commander in Chief’s hat, the peace president celebrated Christmas with “a powerful and deadly strike against ISIS Terrorist Scum in Northwest Nigeria,” for “targeting and viciously killing, primarily, innocent Christians, at levels not seen for many years, and even Centuries!”

But the ever gracious Trump did not forget to wish a “MERRY CHRISTMAS to all, including the dead Terrorists, of which there will be many more if their slaughter of Christians continues.”

The attack on Nigeria came days after he ordered a “complete” blockade of sanctioned oil tankers going in and out of Venezuela with a warning he would keep the oil and the ships too, and telling its leader Nicolas Maduro it’d be “smart” for him to step down.

Trump also sparked a fresh row with Denmark saying the U.S. “has to have” Greenland after naming a special envoy to the semiautonomous Arctic isle.

The POTUS rewarded his Department of War with a new class of superior Navy battleships to replace an “old and tired and obsolete” U.S. fleet promptly naming it after himself.

To meet Trump’s aesthetic standards, the new “Trump class” ships that will form part of the new “Golden Fleet,” will be designed by the US Navy “along with me because I’m a very aesthetic person,” he declared.

Tilting at the naughty windmills, Trump who has often claimed that they kill whales and drive them crazy, then paused “leases for all large-scale offshore wind projects being constructed in the United States” citing “national security concerns.”

But to keep the friendly neighbourhood Supreme Court in good humor, Trump refrained from sending a lump of coal to the top court for rejecting his bid to deploy National Guard in Illinois, delivering him a rare but significant blow.

Commerce Department too made Trump’s nice list for delivering a positive report that the U.S. economy grew by 4.3% in third quarter, “one full percentage point faster than expected,” at its fastest clip in two years.

His “@RapidResponse47” team was quick to give the boss a pat on the back, saying, “This is a direct result of everything @POTUS has put in place."

Another White Post on his Truth Social declared, “TRUMP IS DOING AN AMAZING JOB!” with the U.S. “set to record its biggest single-year decline in murders on record.”

Yet another post crowed about “Big news for the USA! President DJT,” noting “federal employment is now at the lowest level since 2014 — down by 271,000 jobs since President Trump took office.”

Secretary of State Marco Rubio also made the nice list for recalling 30 career ambassadors appointed by Biden and ordering diplomats to start using Times New Trump (oops Roman) font again instead of Calibri, reversing a "wasteful" diversity move made under Biden in 2023.

So did various other government departments for adopting Trump speak ditching Biden team’s euphemisms, such as “undocumented” and “noncitizen,” for “illegal alien.”

Illegal immigrant children who came across the border without a parent are again “Unaccompanied Alien Child” and “gender” is again “sex” on American passports and other government forms.

Santa himself was on POTUS’ watchlist, Trump revealed as he and the first lady spoke with children across the U.S. as part of an annual event in which the NORAD— the North American Aerospace Defense Command —"tracks" Santa as he delivers presents.

“We track Santa all over the world. We want to make sure that Santa is being good,” Trump told a caller from Oklahoma. “We want to make sure he’s not infiltrated, that we’re not infiltrating into our country a bad Santa.”

Trump, who in April signed an executive order designed to bolster the U.S. coal industry, also joked about Santa giving a child 'clean, beautiful coal' for Christmas.

After the event, Trump put the focus back on politics in a holiday message on Truth Social, "Merry Christmas to all, including the Radical Left Scum that is doing everything possible to destroy our Country, but are failing badly."

“The Failing New York Times,” — THEY ARE A TRUE ENEMY OF THE PEOPLE! — also made Trump’s naughty list for “their lies and purposeful misrepresentation…”

So did “Network NEWSCASTS, and their Late Night Shows, (that) are almost 100% Negative to President Donald J. Trump, MAGA, and the Republican Party.”

“Shouldn’t their very valuable Broadcast Licenses be terminated? I say, YES!” he asked as the White House declared, “They tried. NOBODY can stop POTUS from delivering for the American people. ��������”

“JINGLE ALL THE WAY TO THE GOLDEN AGE: He's on a mission to deliver big beautiful tax returns to ALL Americans,” read an accompanying illustration showing Trump in a Santa hat running to deliver tax refund checks — or was he running with all the goodies for himself, suggested carping critics.

Meanwhile, even as an annual Christmas Eve concert at the John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts was canceled by its host after Trump added his name to the building, he asked people to watch a broadcast of “THE TRUMP KENNEDY CENTER HONORS,” where he played host.

“Tell me what you think of my ‘Master of Ceremony’ abilities. If really good, would you like me to leave the Presidency in order to make ‘hosting’ a full time job?” Trump asked offering a rare chance to swap 340 days of Trump, Trump, Trump, with endless horrible nights. Any takers?

(By arrangement with The American Bazaar, americanbazaaronline.com)