Barack Obama and Michelle Obama’s parenting secrets: Raising two confident, and resilient daughters

Parenting in public is never easy, but parenting in the White House is a different story altogether. However, Michelle Obama and Barack Obama are among those parents who brought up their daughters, Malia and Sasha, with philosophies that rely not on being perfect but on intention, reverence, and lessons rather than perfection. The collective philosophies of Barack and Michelle Obama illustrate how two intensely ambitious individuals can raise two confident and independent women despite incredible odds.Giving their children normalcy inside the extraordinaryRight from the start, the Obamas made it clear that they wanted to provide as much of a normal childhood as possible to Malia and Sasha despite the fact that the girls will be growing up inside the White House. Michelle Obama was particularly keen to ensure that the girls did things like make their beds every day, work at the equivalent of summer jobs, or engage in typical activities of teenagers, thus not coddling them on matters of stress or responsibilities. Although they found themselves under the glare of publicity and pressure that comes with being the offspring of a former or current president, Barack and Michelle made every effort to ensure their privacy was maintained and they had a chance to develop on their own. Michelle has stated that she will never put her children through the same scrutiny she went through.“Walk Your Own Walk”"Walk their own walk" has been one of the most valuable pieces of advice that Michelle Obama has imparted to her daughters. She has encouraged Malia and Sasha Obama to not let the opinions of others, whether it is their parents or the rest of the world, dictate who they are, and take the time to figure out who they are meant to be in the world. Such a message becomes extremely significant in the context of self-discovery.This is a parenting secret that involves encouraging kids to think independently. This approach is quite effective and does not require imposing a lot of rules on kids.A balanced approach to disciplineMichelle has been open about her changes in her disciplinary tactics. As a younger mother, Michelle experimented with using the Ferber method on her babies, which consisted of a sleep training practice that used leaving babies to cry momentarily before soothing them. She has confessed that personally, this method of childcare would be a practice that Michelle could no longer be comfortable participating in, indicating that even very confident parents have second thoughts about childcare methods based on what they have learned. As opposed to stricter parenting methods that emphasize punishments as a means of teaching children correct behavior, instead choosing to let their children learn by experiencing natural consequences for their actions. In fact, she cautions against protecting children from all discomfort as much as possible, which she calls tough love.Teaching conflict resolution and independenceMichelle reported that when her daughters were fighting, she many times did not act as soon as she should have. She allowed them to resolve their disputes on their own and realize how each one of them sees things differently. This taught them how to think critically and how to deal with their emotions. Michelle also spoke about listening effectively and carefully considering questions for her kids. These are fundamental steps that allowed Malia and Sasha to gain confidence and trust because they felt heard and valued. By not dominating conversations and giving room for ideas, Michelle was creating a confident and trusted atmosphere. Adapting parenting to the personality of each childParenting styles aren’t the same for all families, and the Obamas were a perfect example. Michelle remembered the twin girls Malia and Sasha were very different with one more pleaser and the other more distant. It would seem to come as no shock to President Obama, who found he needed different parenting styles for the two different personalities. But they soon learned that being empathetic, flexible, and creative as parents means their kids are understood as individuals, and not just as members of a family.