Negotiate, don’t escalate

Thirukkural with the Times explores real-world lessons from the classic Tamil text ‘Thirukkural’. Written by Tamil poet and philosopher Thiruvalluvar, the Kural consists of 1,330 short couplets of seven words each. This text is divided into three books with teachings on virtue, wealth, and love and is considered one of the great works ever on ethics and morality. The Kural has influenced scholars and leaders across social, political, and philosophical spheres. Motivational speaker, author and diversity champion Bharathi Bhaskar explores the masterpiece.Diplomacy seems to be dying in full public view. The world watches wars in real time, missile by missile, and somewhere in that noise the patient craft of negotiation appears to have fallen silent. Every conflict is framed as a final moral contest. Every concession looks like weakness.That is perhaps why the present war climate feels so frightening. Leaders talk about zero-sum narratives, where compromises look impossible. Public opinion, nationalism and digital outrage push them into hard positions. Diplomacy, however, depends on ambiguity, patience, and the willingness to let the other side retreat without humiliation.One of the most important terms in diplomacy is ‘back channels’ — the unofficial, quieter routes through which hostile nations continue to speak even while denouncing each other in public. These hidden lines often prevent public brinkmanship from turning into irreversible disaster. But in today’s wars, those back channels seem to have withered. That may be the clearest sign of diplomatic decline. For diplomacy begins with someone keeping one door unlocked.The Cuban Missile Crisis remains one of the finest examples of diplomacy saving the world. In October 1962, the Soviet Union placed nuclear missiles in Cuba, situated close to the coast of the United States. President John F Kennedy imposed a naval blockade; the United States demanded that the Soviet Union remove the missiles from Cuba. For 13 days, the world stood on the edge of nuclear war. Publicly, both sides were unyielding. Privately, the president’s brother Robert Kennedy, though officially the Attorney General, met Soviet ambassador Anatoly Dobrynin and conveyed a compromise.That meeting mattered enormously. The United States would not invade Cuba, and its missiles in Turkey would later be withdrawn quietly. This gave Nikita Khrushchev, the Russian Premiere, what every successful negotiation often requires: a face-saving exit. Robert Kennedy communicated urgency without insult, danger without provocation.Today, most sides appear determined to push the other back first. Diplomacy cannot work without at least a thin thread of mutual recognition.Tamil history offers a remarkable parallel. Avvaiyar of the Sangam age was not only a poet but also a back-channel diplomat. She belonged to the court of Adiyamaan, ruler of Tagadur, present-day Dharmapuri. When war was brewing between Adiyamaan and Thondaiman of Kanchipuram, Avvaiyar went to meet the latter. She was welcomed as a poet though she came from the rival camp. Thondaiman showed her his shining armoury, which Avvaiyar admired. Then came the warning hidden in praise: Adiyamaan’s weapons, she implied, were worn, broken and dented because they had already seen real battle. The message was unmistakable. Your weapons are new; his are experienced. Tradition records no war between them. Perhaps Avvaiyar’s diplomacy stopped it before blood was shed.Today’s world needs more women as diplomats, and more women making decisions about war. Not as symbols, but as authorities. The masculine theatre of pride, retaliation and total victory has brought enough ruin.Thiruvalluvar talks about the perils of war, in Kural 858:Igalirkku Edhirsaaythal Aakkam; AthanaiMigalookkin Ookkumaam Kedu“Turning away your focus from war and hatred will yield wealth, Indulging in war will hasten ruin”That truth is starkly visible today. War destroys lives, economies, institutions and futures. When diplomacy dies, humanity pays the price.