Psychologist shares 5 'red flags' that most people mistake as good chemistry

Rose coloured glasses are a permanent accessory when one is in love, especially when the flames are freshly lit. In the hopes of a romance and a place for the heart, most of the time one forgoes numerous character traits as unique and continues to live in a love-filled bubble. But if one's past was chaotic, inconsistent and traumatic, it is likely that their present relationship dynamics are impacted by the same in a negative way. Now, Dr Amy Tran, a clinical psychologist has shared five signs with CNBC Make It, that may feel like insane chemistry but are true red flags. Here's what they are.If some of your past relationships have made you feel loved and anxious at the same time, then your nervous system has been trained to balance the two feelings together at the same time. In this case, mixed signals, hot and cold behaviour and inconsistency can feel not only normal but also intimate. You can always be on edge over the existence of the bond and the feelings of your partner and rather than ringing a warning bell, you may confuse these feelings with excitement. Reminiscing about them when they are unavailable and feeling relieved when they finally give you attention, can make you feel like a main character in a romantic movie. But you really need to wake up. When you are stressed, the body releases more cortisol which activates the reward and addiction pathways in the brain. As a result, you can end up unconsciously choosing stress, conflict, unpredictability and other intense emotions as they give your body a hit of the chemicals it craves. Being drawn to someone and feeling like they are the only one for you isn't always a sign of good chemistry. Sometimes, you can be trying to repair an old wound that hasn't healed yet by only digging in more deeply. You may believe that the timing wasn't right and things can work out this time, feeling high on a false sense of control. But this, will only increase the pain. If making your partner jealous feels exciting, then it isn't fun and chemistry, it's your insecurity showing up. It is you doing surprising acts in order to get them to prove to you that you are wanted. Mentally, it may sound like “If they chase me, it means they love me enough.”Butterflies are not really ideal. A healthy relationship should feel grounded and safe. But if your nervous system is used to chaos, calmness can feel boring. This may lead to thoughts that your bond is lacking spark and you might initiate action by creating tension and conflict. You need to understand that the lack of a spark doesn't mean you have no chemistry, it just means the constant anxiety is missing. Every person in a relationship comes with their own experiences and emotions. Noticing and changing patterns becomes a vital step in this case. Slow down, process your past and unlearn negative patterns.