Parenting mistakes to avoid
It is unlikely that anyone is born with narcissism. They just tend to develop it depending on their surroundings.
Children too pick up on these narcissistic behaviours, which are characterized by a sense of superiority, entitlement and lack of empathy, during their growing years and parents have a massive role to play in it.
But before we get into what parents can do or avoid to raise helpful, compassionate kids, let us first understand the subtle difference between self-confidence and narcissism and decode the signs that can help you with the same.
Signs of narcissism in kids
Some of the tell-tale signs of a narcissistic child include:
- Putting other kids down
- A bullying streak
- Difficulty in making good, long lasting friends
- Being consistently haughty or cold
- Intolerant
- The habit of always blaming others for their own mistakes and faults.
But what gives light to these patterns? Neuroscientists and experts believe parents have a significant role in raising such narcissistic kids. Having said that, here are some parenting mistakes that are often associated with such traits in kids.
Also read: Harvard nutritionist shares brain foods that will help your kids stay sharp and focused
You're not recognizing your own negative behaviors
As a parent, while you have the right to correct your child's negative behaviour, as an adult, you should also acknowledge your faults and mistakes. Most often, your children learn by observing and looking up to you, which means if you portray yourself in the negative light, they're likely to follow your footsteps. Having said that, you must make amends now and help your child become emotionally intelligent i.e. more understanding of how others feel.
You're invalidating your child’s emotions
How you are towards your child also impacts how they eventually become as a person. If you continuously invalidate or negate their feelings and emotions, if you consistently tell them what they're feeling is wrong or how they're behaving is out of order, they're likely to have a difficult time controlling their behaviour. So, even if you do not agree with your child's opinion or decisions, do not shut them out. Rather communicate and tell them that you understand why they're upset. Lend them a helping hand and help find a solution together. This way they will also understand empathy.
You're not checking your kids for their narcissistic attitude
Throwing a fit in the public, not accepting their mistake, putting the blame on others are some of the signs of a narcissistic kid. As a parent, if your child behaves in an improper fashion, do not try and avoid it. Address it by asking certain questions like "what is happening?", "How are you feeling?", "Is there something I can do to make you feel better?" - These are questions that not only call out narcissistic behaviours, but also make children feel heard.
What to do
There are many ways to tackle narcissism in kids and also cope with it. Some of the strategies include:
- Loving your child unconditionally, and not setting unrealistic expectations.
- Help them become emotionally intelligent, make them understand how their behavior affects others
- Model good behaviour
- Strengthen their listening power
- Set necessary boundaries
- Praise them when they help somebody
- Do not hesitate to address their sense of entitlement
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