How to read someone's real emotions: 10 simple steps

In conversations, people often express their emotions through body language and subtle gestures rather than words. If you want to get better at understanding how others feel, paying attention to these signals can help a lot. Here’s a simple guide to help you pick up on what someone’s really feeling in everyday moments.

A great way to understand someone's emotions is by paying attention to micro-expressions. These are quick, involuntary facial expressions that happen so fast, that they’re easy to miss. But they can reveal a person’s true feelings before they have time to hide them. For instance, a sudden frown or a raised eyebrow might give you a hint about what they’re really feeling at that moment.

The speed at which someone speaks can be another key indicator of their emotional state. If they’re talking quickly, they may be excited, anxious, or nervous. On the other hand, if they speak slowly or pause a lot, they could be uncertain, sad, or deep in thought. Keep an ear out for how fast or slow their words come out—it’s a clue to their emotional state.

People who lie often tend to speak at a faster pace, while those who are telling the truth speak at a normal pace and with confidence. Thus, observing the speed at which one speaks can give a hint of what truly unlies behind their words.

Smiles can say a lot. A real smile (also called a Duchenne smile) involves the eyes lighting up, not just the mouth. If someone’s smile seems a bit forced or tight-lipped, it might mean they’re uncomfortable or stressed. A smile that doesn’t reach their eyes could be hiding frustration or irritation, so pay attention to how natural it looks.

How someone moves can say a lot about their emotions. Quick, sharp movements could indicate impatience or frustration, while slower, more relaxed movements usually point to calmness or contentment. Pay attention to small actions like tapping fingers, shifting in their seat, or crossing their arms—these can signal feelings of nervousness, defensiveness, or restlessness.

It’s not just about what someone says but how they say it. The tone of their voice can give you clues about their feelings. A higher pitch often means they’re nervous or anxious, while a flat or monotone voice can sign they’re feeling bored or disinterested. Keep an ear out for any sudden changes in volume or pitch—those little shifts can tell you a lot.

Our eyes often give away more than we realise about how we’re feeling. When someone's eyes widen, it often indicates surprise or excitement. On the other hand, if they lower their gaze or avoid eye contact, it could mean they’re feeling anxious, shy, or even trying to hide something. Eye movements may be small, but they can reveal a lot about a person’s emotions.

Hands are incredibly expressive, and we often use them without thinking. Clenched fists, for instance, might reveal anger, stress, or frustration. On the other hand, open hands or relaxed gestures can show that someone is calm and comfortable. Notice if someone’s hands are trembling or if they’re covering their mouth—they might be anxious or trying to hide something.

Some people have a tendency to sugarcoat things, especially when in their heart they mean the opposite of it. Others, are too blunt to say whatever comes to their mind. Understand how people are and notice the kind of words they use. This can help you decode what's truly in their mind, even if they don't speak it openly.

A person’s breathing can often give you a clue about their emotional state. Rapid or shallow breathing may indicate anxiety, panic, or stress. Conversely, slow and deep breaths can signal calmness or relaxation. If you notice someone suddenly taking deep breaths or sighing frequently, it could mean they're feeling overwhelmed or trying to regain composure.​