This is how people reacted when I said I don't want to have a baby!

If you are leading a blissfully healthy life, both physically and emotionally, with the perfect life partner, then the decision to not have children is not easy. At least it wasn’t easy for me to continually decline the call of motherhood after five years of marriage. But what made it more difficult was how everyone—friends, family, colleagues and even my dead grandmother, who trespassed upon my dreams and threatened me with dire consequences—when I dropped the bomb, “I don’t want to have kids EVER”. We had many reasons to refuse the offer of parenthood—the rising pollution level in Delhi NCR, child molestation, over population and what not. Being thousands of kilometers away from home, having a baby wasn’t a choice, it was a luxury for me. Would I be able to give him or her a childhood that I had? No. Could I teach them how to chase a butterfly or spot a firefly on a dark gloomy night? No. Would I be able to promise her that she will never be molested in a school bus or in a super market? No. The strings of ‘no’ helped me make up my mind, but people will never understand. Some were sympathetic, a few hilarious while a handful almost threatened me.

“You know there is a very good IVF specialist in South Delhi. You should consult her. There is nothing that she cannot heal. Also, I know a place where you can get ultrasound done at a fraction of what it costs elsewhere,” advised a sympathetic colleague once. I didn’t have the heart to tell her the news of my still functional ovaries. Sometimes, silence is your best medicine.

“You still don’t have children? How long have you been married?” asked my helpful neighbour who occupied the first floor (and mostly the staircase, which she waited patiently to greet every tenant!) of the building where we stayed. When I said it’s been five years, she almost choked on her breath. “You should try coming home early, Beta. Kitna party karogi? (How long will you keep partying). Are you not having a baby because you are afraid to miss out all the fun?”

Sometimes, friends are your worst enemies, especially, the ones with babies who never leave any opportunity to patronize you. “Stop running away from your responsibilities. It’s okay to have a career but it is equally important to start a family too. You should know how to balance office-home-babies like we do.” And they never stop, not even in social media.

Now it’s not easy to make my parents understand my lack of interest in the department called parenthood. “Is everything all right? Hope you two are not fighting again,” my mother used to ask every time I reminded her about my decision. Now how do I explain that we are not teenagers to make life changing decisions because we had a fight? I would have been more relieved if she would have blamed global warming!

Ah! the gossiping in-laws are the most hilarious lot. “Oh! she is a wild horse. We had warned him before getting married. Now look how she is hen pecking him. She doesn’t want to have a baby because she knows it pretty well how a child will put an end to her wild ways!” they sang in unison.

Finally, my granny decided to visit my dreams. “Do you have any idea what you are doing?” she pointed a gnarly finger at me. “I was already the mother of six at your age. And look at you. You have changed five boyfriends and finally settled down with the sixth. If you don’t have a baby in a year, I will definitely get a heart attack!” I smiled in my sleep thinking you cannot remind the ghost of your forgetful grandmother that she is already dead, can you? I simply waited for the nightmare to be over.