Why praise can backfire: Rethinking encouragement in classrooms

We usually think praise is always a good thing.“Good job.”“Very smart.”“You’re a topper.”“You’re the best in class.”Sounds positive, encouraging, motivating. And sometimes it is. But sometimes, praise does something very strange. Instead of making children more confident, it makes them more scared.Not scared of failure.Scared of losing the identity that praise gave them.There’s a famous set of studies by psychologist Carol Dweck on how praise affects children. Something very interesting caught her eye. Children were, in fact, avoiding difficult tasks when they were congratulated that they were smart. But when children received praise because of effort they were more likely to attempt more difficult problems, to make mistakes, to learn. Why? Because when you say to a child: You are very smart, the child gradually begins to believe:"In case of failure, I might not be smart anymore."So they stop taking risks. They choose easier tasks. They panic more during exams. They hide mistakes. They become very concerned about looking smart instead of actually learning.Praise, in this case, becomes pressure wearing a nice smile.You can actually see this happen. Some children cannot handle getting one answer wrong. Some cry over losing one mark. Some keep asking, “Is this correct? Is this correct?” not because they don’t know, but because they are scared of being wrong.They are not addicted to success.They are addicted to approval.And classrooms sometimes unknowingly create this. We celebrate toppers, ranks, highest marks, fastest finishers. Notice the pattern. We praise results, not process.But learning is a process full of confusion, mistakes, slow progress, and sometimes complete failure before understanding. If children start believing that they are only appreciated when they are perfect, they will start fearing the very thing that helps them learn: mistakes.There’s also another interesting thing praise does. If a child is constantly told “You are so talented,” they may stop putting in effort after a point. Because effort feels like proof that they are not naturally talented.So we end up with two kinds of pressure:“I must always come first.”“If I try hard, it means I’m not naturally smart.”Both are exhausting.Maybe we don’t need to stop praising children.Maybe we just need to change what we praise.Instead of:“You are so smart.”“You are the best student.”“You always get full marks.”Try:“You worked really hard on this.”“I like how you didn’t give up on this question.”“You improved a lot from last time.”“You tried a different method, that’s interesting.”“You were very patient while solving this.”See the difference? One praises identity. The other praises effort and behaviour.Children learn that they can make improvements when they are praised because of their effort. When they are praised only for results, they learn that they must always be perfect.And being perfect is an extremely anxious ten-year-old ambition.So maybe encouragement in classrooms is not about praising more.Maybe it’s about praising differently.Because the goal of education is not to create children who are scared of being wrong.It is to create children who are not afraid to try again.