Peer pressure: Gen Z’s invisible roommate

By: Chandra Shekhar VarmaRecently, during a workshop for students at a school in Noida, a Class 11 girl had a strange query: “How do I get rid of my friends?” This question was shocking. She was asked why she wanted to get rid of her friends.“I feel stressed when I’m with them. They’re constantly talking about their fancy gadgets, their visits to the new café, or trying weird stuff,” she answered. She was clearly under immense stress caused by her peers, who, without intending to, were creating emotional trauma for her.If there’s one roommate Gen Z didn’t ask for but can’t seem to get rid of, it’s ‘peer pressure’. It doesn’t bang on your door. It quietly slips into your DMs, your reels, your playlist, even your gym routine.Back in the day, peer pressure was mostly about who’s bringing the bigger lunch box or how someone scored higher in the board exams. Today, it sounds more like: ‘Why aren’t you building a startup at 17, going on solo trips, posting Reels, and being emotionally evolved’.No generation in history has had this much access to each other’s lives. A single scroll can make you feel like you’re behind in a race you never even signed up for. Your best friend is interning at Google. Someone from school is launching a podcast. And there you are, just proud of being able to cook your noodles.The problem is that this constant comparison isn’t inspiring. It’s exhausting. You’re not just expected to succeed; you must look like you’re succeeding. In a story. In a frame. With the right filter. Even failure should be aesthetic now.And it’s not just about careers. From body image to hobbies, politics to playlists, there’s a silent social scoreboard running in the background. Even your tastes are under peer surveillance.But here’s the twist. Peer pressure survives because we keep giving it power. It feeds on our silence, our scrolling, our need to belong.So, what do we do? First, let’s normalise not doing everything at once. Not every 23-yearold needs to be a founder or a philosopher. It’s okay if your greatest achievement today was cleaning your room. That’s growth too.Second, curate your feed like you’d curate your plate. Not everything that’s trending is good for your system. Third, talk about it. Peer pressure thrives in echo chambers. Break the echo. Say it out loud, “I don’t want to do that”. And that’s okay. Finally, remember that growth is not a group project. You can cheer for others without comparing timelines. You are the best version of yourself. You don’t need a trend check.(The writer is a behavioural scientist, leadership coach and a relationship counsellor)