Trumpiana: What gets the GOAT’s goat?

When the ‘Evil empire’ declines to ‘cry uncle’ to “King of the World”!

Donald Trump, the GOAT President of the mighty United States was gloating over the destruction wrought by his expensive war toys on the ‘Evil empire’ of Iran, when they got his goat.

US and Israeli air strikes had killed Iran’s supreme leader Ali Khamenei, sunk much of its navy and destroyed bulk of its Air Force. Yet it had declined to “cry uncle” in an “unconditional surrender” demanded by him.




Instead in a brazen act of defiance, choosing Khamenei’s hardliner 56-year-old son Mojtaba Khamenei as their new leader, Tehran had the temerity to rattle the global economy by choking oil supplies and “playing diplomatic hardball,” as a scribe put it, to end the war.

So taking the matter in his own hands, POTUS directed the United States Central Command to execute “one of the most powerful bombing raids in the History of the Middle East,” that “totally obliterated every MILITARY target in Iran’s crown jewel, Kharg Island.”

But “for reasons of decency, I have chosen NOT to wipe out the Oil Infrastructure on the Island,” he declared magnanimously on Truth Social but with a warning, “However, should Iran, or anyone else, do anything to interfere with the Free and Safe Passage of Ships through the Strait of Hormuz, I will immediately reconsider this decision.”

Yet amid reports that pal Putin’s Russia had provided Tehran intelligence about US military targets, Trump lifted sanctions on Russian oil shipments for 30 days to ease pressures on the oil market around the world.

The move prompted criticism from European leaders, as it is expected to bring a financial boon to Russia, which has struggled under financial penalties designed to end its invasion of Ukraine.

The license to Russia came days after Trump announced “A HISTORIC $300 BILLION DOLLAR DEAL — THE BIGGEST IN U.S. HISTORY,” with India’s Reliance to open “THE CLEANEST REFINERY IN THE WORLD” in Brownsville, Texas.

Trump then turned his guns back at his favorite target, “The Fake News Media (that) hates to report how well the United States Military has done against Iran, which is totally defeated and wants a deal – But not a deal that I would accept!”

“Iran had plans of taking over the entire Middle East, and completely obliterating Israel. JUST LIKE IRAN ITSELF, THOSE PLANS ARE NOW DEAD!” he proclaimed.

Earlier, six days after the war with Iran, that cost at least $11.3 billion in munitions alone, according to Pentagon estimates, Trump declined to spell out what would constitute victory. He and his top officials continue to give a range of reasons for what the ultimate goals of the war are, and whether regime change is one of them.

“I said ‘unconditional.’ It’s where they cry uncle or when they can’t fight any longer and there’s nobody around to cry uncle – that could happen too,” Trump told reporters as Air Force One cruised toward his Mar-a-Lago, Florida home.

In the same breath this week, Trump declared “we won” and warned “we don’t want to leave early, do we? We’ve got to finish the job.” Two days earlier, he told House Republicans: “We’ve already won in many ways, but we haven’t won enough.”

Earlier, to win support for the Iran war, the White House issued a series of memeified videos comparing the deadly conflict with a variety of pop culture imagery including violent video games, and movies such as “Tropic Thunder” and “Braveheart,” and even the cartoon “SpongeBob SquarePants.”

One began with a brief clip from the video game Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. It quickly transitioned to footage of the U.S. military bombing an Iranian vehicle. “Wasted” soon appeared on the screen, the same image that flashes across the game when a player dies.

Another video titled “STRIKE,” featuring clips of bowling and bombings, and another connecting baseball bombs with the real variety, and a post juxtaposing military strikes to Nintendo Wii gaming, followed.

The videos drew pushback from those whose footage was included in the montages with pro football players Kenny Bell, Ed Reed, Ray Lewis and Mason Foster criticizing the use of clips from their careers in a “highlight reel” of U.S. military strikes in Iran mixed with football plays.

Actor and director Ben Stiller also spoke out against the White House using a clip from his movie “Tropic Thunder” in a similar manner, saying he had “no interest in being a part of your propaganda machine.”

Brushing aside the criticism, the White House called it “another example of our non-traditional and traditional media strategy, which has proven highly successful” with its videos generating “more than 2 billion impressions.”

“People are talking about the tremendous success of the war and the U.S. Military’s obliteration of Iranian terrorists — and that’s exactly the point,” claimed Trump’s press secretary.

Then a new nearly 12ft satirical statue titled ‘King of the World,’ depicting Trump and convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein as doomed lovers Jack and Rose from the movie “Titanic” was placed on the National Mall by The Secret Handshake, a shadowy collective of anonymous artists.

The third piece of guerrilla art shows Trump standing behind Epstein with arms outstretched as the pair face the distant spire of the Washington Monument, mounted on the prow of the ill-fated ocean liner proclaiming, “I’m the king of the world!” à la Jack.

Spray-painted gold, the installation is accompanied by plaques offering a pointed commentary on the pair’s past association. One red, “This monument honors the bond between Donald Trump and Jeffrey Epstein, a friendship seemingly built on luxurious travel, raucous parties and secret nude sketches” like the tragic love story between Jack and Rose.

The White House swiftly condemned the display, but the installation came as a reminder that even the high and mighty king can’t save himself from guerrilla artistic pot shots!

(By arrangement with The American Bazaar)