Ka$h and Carry: Patel's FBI goes full happy hour

TOI Correspondent from Washington: In the annals of FBI history, J. Edgar Hoover handed out souvenir fingerprint cards. Robert Mueller handed out stern lectures. James Comey handed out lengthy moral reflections.

Under Indian-American Kash Patel, whose customary greeting to abstemious fellow Gujaratis is “Jai Shree Krishna!”, the bureau has apparently entered a Bourbon Rra.

Washington is still digesting spirited revelations from The Atlantic that Patel -- already embroiled in controversy over allegations of excessive drinking that he vehemently denies -- has been distributing personalized bottles of Woodford Reserve engraved with “Kash Patel FBI Director,” complete with an FBI shield, an eagle, and the stylized moniker “Ka$h.”

The follow-up report by Sarah Fitzpatrick — the same reporter Patel is suing for $250 million — described how the bottles of bourbon allegedly traveled aboard DOJ aircraft, appeared at official events, and even accompanied Patel on a trip to Milan during the Winter Olympics.

One bottle reportedly turned up later on an online auction site after being gifted at a Las Vegas event. Another was allegedly left behind in a locker room after Patel celebrated with the U.S. men’s hockey team over beers — behavior that reportedly irritated the famously teetotaling Donald Trump.

Trump himself does not drink alcohol and has long viewed it warily, shaped in part by the alcoholism struggles of his brother Fred Trump Jr. But Trumpworld increasingly resembles a White House happy hour that nobody officially acknowledges.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth has faced scrutiny over allegations concerning drinking habits, which he has denied. Trump’s Labor Secretary Lori Chavez-DeRemer allegedly drank in her office during work hours and kept an alcohol “stash” in her office. And former Trump lawyer Rudy Giuliani became a frequent subject of jokes over his fondness for drink.

Now Patel’s bourbon diplomacy has added a new chapter to the administration’s oddly boozy subplot.

The FBI insists the gifts are ethical and consistent with longstanding traditions involving commemorative items. An FBI spokesperson said senior officials have exchanged such gifts for years and maintained Patel personally pays for any gifts himself.

Still, several current and former FBI personnel quoted by The Atlantic said the scale and personalization of the bourbon gifting struck them as unusual, uncomfortable, and inconsistent with the bureau’s traditionally strict culture regarding alcohol.

Then came the Quantico episode.

According to the report, Patel and aides allegedly brought bourbon to an FBI training seminar featuring UFC athletes. When one bottle reportedly went missing, Patel allegedly threatened polygraphs and investigations to locate it.

Patel’s flair for merchandising is already legendary in MAGA circles. Before becoming FBI director, he was associated with online stores selling “Government Gangsters” playing cards, Punisher-themed apparel, and “Justice for All” merchandise tied to January 6 defendants.

The whole affair has also produced a distinctly Indian-American subplot.

For decades, the Patel surname has been associated with immigrant entrepreneurship across the U.S — especially motels, convenience stores, Dunkin’ franchises, Subway outlets – and at the bottom of the pecking order, liquor stores.

The latest Patel Tale: Kash may be the first Patel to combine all the family businesses into one federal management style: Hospitality, branding, retail, and bourbon distribution.