From alcohol addiction to going bankrupt: When Kaun Banega Crorepati's Rs 5 crore winner Sushil Kumar recalled 'worst phase of his life'

In the fifth season of the quiz show Kaun Banega Crorepati, hosted by megastar Amitabh Bachchan, Sushil Kumar took over the grand prize of Rs 5 crore. While winning such a sizable award could make someone think they had the life of their dreams, it could also have the opposite impact. And in Sushil Kumar's case, after assuming control of the enormous sum, a dark era began. He posted about his experience on his Facebook page. He referred to it as his worst phase of life. Sushil Kumar has just returned to living a respectable life by giving up smoking, returning to teaching, and developing a new interest in the environment. "The worst phase of my life after winning Kaun Banega Crorepati," read Sushil's Facebook post.

Sushil wrote a long note sharing about his challenging phase, he wrote, "2015-2016 was the most challenging time of my life. I didn't know what to do. I was a local celebrity and would attend programmes for 10 or sometimes even 15 days a month somewhere or the other in Bihar. I was drifting away from my studies. And because I was a local celebrity, I took the media very seriously in those days. Sometimes journalists would interview and write about me. Without any experience of how I should speak with them, I would tell them about the business I was involved in so that I don't come across as jobless. However, those businesses would collapse after a few days."

Sushil further shared, "After KBC, I became a philanthropist, who was addicted to 'secret donations' and would attend about 50 thousand events in a month. Due to this, a lot of times, people cheated on me, which I got to know only later after the donations were made. Due to this, my relationship with my wife was slowly worsening. She would often say that I didn't know how to differentiate between right and wrong people and that I wasn't concerned about the future. We would often fight over this."

Sushil Kumar spoke about him slowly falling into alcohol addiction, "Due to the nature of my business, I came in contact with a few boys studying media in Jamia Millia, those studying at IIMC, their seniors and also a few others who were studying research in JNU. I also got introduced to some theatre artists. However, when these students and artists would talk about a subject, I would feel intimidated and realise that I didn't know much about other topics or subjects. Slowly, I got addicted to alcohol and smoking, in addition to other addictions. Whenever I stayed in Delhi for a week, I indulged in drinking and smoking with seven different groups. I found their talks attractive. In their company, I started taking the media very lightly."

Sushil termed his bankruptcy story 'filmy'. He quipped, "And now, how did I become bankrupt...? You will find the story a little 'filmy'. That night, while I was watching the film 'Pyasa' which was towards its climax scene, my wife entered shouting that I will go mad watching the same film over and over again. She asked me to leave the room. I shut my laptop and went out for a stroll. I was sad because we hadn't spoken for over a month. And while I was walking, a journalist from an English newspaper called. While everything was going fine, suddenly he asked me something which left me irritated, so I randomly told him that all my money was exhausted and I had two cows and was surviving by selling milk and earning some money off it. And after that, all of you must be aware of the impact of that news. Soon after, all those who I was surrounded by, cornered themselves. I wasn't invited to events and that's when I got some time to think about what I should do next. I was a big cinema fan, I had watched almost all national award-winning, Oscar-winning films. I started dreaming of becoming a film director."

Sushil shared that he almost got divorced due to a huge fight, he revealed "Meanwhile, my wife and I had a huge spat after which, she left for her maternal home and asked for a divorce. It was then that I realised, if I have to save my marriage, I had to become a film director and earn myself a fresh identity. I spoke to a producer friend, who asked me some technical questions which I was unable to answer. He suggested that I work in the television space to understand the techniques better, and he would then give me a job as a film producer. Soon after, I started working at a big production house. I came to know about a lot of things - story, screenplay, dialogue copy, prop, costume, content among other things. But I felt restless since there were only three places -- courtyard, kitchen, and bedroom -- where most of the shoot would take place."

Sushil recounts his stay in Mumbai, "I had come to Mumbai with the dream of becoming a film director, but then I left one day and started staying with one of my lyricist friends. I would lay in the room and watch films or read books that I had. This continued for about six months and I became a chain smoker. Since I was staying all by myself here, I got the opportunity to look at myself objectively. And I realised a lot of things like, I am not someone who has come to Mumbai to become a director, rather, I am an escaper, who runs away from the truth. Real happiness lies in doing the work of your choice. One can never calm certain emotions like arrogance. It is a thousand times better to be a good person than just be a 'big celebrity.' Happiness is hidden in small things. One must strive to help people as much as possible and that must start from his/her own home/village. I wrote three scripts that a production house liked and gave me Rs 20 thousand for it."

Sushil returned to his home in 2016 and started a new life, "Later, I left Mumbai and returned home, prepared to become a teacher. I sailed through. I involved myself in various environmental awareness projects that brought me peace. I have been better since March 2016 and quit smoking last year (2019). At present, there is always a sense of enthusiasm in life, and I pray that I get several opportunities to work in enhancing the environment because that is what I enjoy doing. I want to only earn for my survival now."