Am hurt, but fired up after being dropped: Shikhar Dhawan

MUMBAI: There is a shamiana being erected for a wedding hardly a few metres away from where he is stroking the ball freely in the nets. When you can see Shikhar Dhawan timing each ball crisply in his signature style during practice, you wonder why can't he do it more regularly in the middle.
Almost a 1,000 kilometres away from Hyderabad, where the Indian Test team, of which he was a part of the past four years since he was dumped after a run of poor scores, is playing Bangladesh in a Test, the discarded opener is slogging away at the Parsee Gymkhana with the rest of the North Zone team, preparing for the Syed Mushtaq Ali zonal knockout which begins from Sunday at the Wankhede Stadium here.
"I'm all geared up for this tournament. Actually I wasn't well for the last few days (viral fever is in the air in Delhi these days, he says). However, I'm feeling much better today and will be ready for tomorrow's game."
Four years back, Dhawan made a dream start to his Test career when he smashed a brilliant 187 off 174 balls against Australia at Mohali. It had prompted Australian opener Ed Cowan to say that he had batted like Don Bradman. The blazing knock had put behind the years of toil that Dhawan had gone through in domestic cricket without any reward.
In a few days from now, as the Aussies land in India for a four-Test series, they will discover that the man who put them to sword in that game, is now back to where he was - grinding it out in domestic cricket. Much of this has to do with a peculiar malaise that this aggressive left-hander suffers from.
It's almost like there are two Shikhar Dhawans that you see most of the time. When he's on song, he can win you an entire tournament/series off his own bat. The last Champions Trophy, when he cracked 363 runs@90.75 in five games to star in India's Champions' Trophy triumph in England, being a classic illustration of that. When he's in that 'zone,' no quality of bowling looks adequate for him.
There is then that 'other' Dhawan, which was on show during the recent ODI series against England. After making 1 & 11, the 31-year-old was released from the Indian team to play domestic cricket. The joke doing the rounds was that Dhawan would be out before you switch the match on at 'Hotstar,' since the live streaming telecast is a bit delayed.
'Gabbar' as he's fondly called, is aware about this problem. "I could not be consistent. I tried fully, but it didn't happen, otherwise I didn't feel that I could do anything better. I won't share the details…but I'm working to get that consistency. As a batsman, I always analyse, and as a professional, I try to improve," he says, before elaborating further. "I got dropped as I wasn't consistent, and I know that to get back in, I've to score consistently. I'm an impactful player, so if I stay out there and score runs, my team is going to win the game. That's my biggest strength and once I start doing it more consistently, I've a good chance of making a comeback," he explains.
He admits that both the India coach Anil Kumble and skipper Virat Kohli have had a word with him on this. To address the problem, he has approached a former cricketer for help too. "I speak to (a former cricketer), when I feel that I need help and don't get the answers, then I look for answers," he mumbles. Poke him further about who exactly has he been talking to in this regard, and he offers a straight bat. "It's a personal thing which I keep to myself."
Having been a regular part of the Indian team since his Test debut, a period during which he played in 23 Tests, 76 ODIs and 22 T20 Internationals for India, Dhawan is naturally 'hurt' after getting dropped, but he says the snub hasn't disheartened him. It has fired him up.
"Of course, it hurts you. I play cricket with lots of emotion. That is the love of my life. I have been playing cricket for 18-20 years. So dukh zaroor lagta hai aur lagna bhi chahiye..lekin utna hi dukh lagta hai ki who mujhe aag dilaye..utna nahin ki who mujhe depress kare. (I do feel sad about it, but it should fire me up and not depress me)," he asserts.
There's the ICC Champions Trophy in June in England this year, and the selectors are surely going to remember what he did in that tournament the last time around. Dhawan is "absolutely" keen to win back his place in the Indian team by then. "For that, I have two-three months' time in which there'll be three-four tournaments. If I do well in them, than there'll be a great chance for me to get back into the side. My ODI my performance has been top notch," he claims.
The conversation moves to the Australian team's chances in India, and Dhawan is quick to warn the visitors. "It's going to be tough for Australia to perform on turning tracks. The Australian tracks are totally different. There's a little more bouncy and flat. When they play on turning tracks, it's going to be tough for them," he cautions.