Is toxic positivity the new mental health problem?

These days, people are talking a lot about staying positive all the time. You see it in the media and in self-help books. Being optimistic can be helpful. Trying to be positive all the time can be bad for you. This is called positivity. When people are sad or upset, others might say things like " stay positive" or "look on the bright side."


Human emotions are complicated. It is normal to feel sad, frustrated, anxious, or disappointed sometimes. These feelings do not mean you are weak. They are normal reactions to the tough things that happen in life. When people feel like they cannot express these emotions, they might try to hide or deal with them in a healthy way. Over time, this can make them feel very tired and alone. They might feel like they cannot be honest about how they feel.


Being happy and healthy does not mean you never feel bad. It means you can deal with your emotions in a way. When you can feel all your emotions, the tough ones, you can become stronger. Positivity is good when it is real and balanced. You need to be able to feel happy and sad. When people feel safe talking about their struggles, they are more likely to find help and happiness.


There is a concept called invalidation. This is when someone makes you feel like your emotions are not okay. When someone is struggling, and people keep telling them to "look on the bright side," it can make them feel ashamed of their emotions. This can happen a lot.





I had a patient who was a professional. She was feeling very anxious and overwhelmed. She looked like she was doing well on the outside. She was struggling. Whenever she talked about her stress, her friends and family would tell her to be grateful or think happy thoughts. She started to feel like something was wrong with her because she was feeling overwhelmed.

In our therapy sessions, we did not focus on being positive all the time. We worked on making her feel okay about her emotions. When she realized that it was normal to feel anxious or disappointed, she started to feel better.


Being mentally healthy does not mean you never feel bad. It means you can deal with your emotions in a way. When you are kind to yourself and acknowledge your feelings, you can become stronger. Trying to ignore your sadness does not make you stronger. Acknowledging it does.

Inputs by Dr. Anjalika Atrey

MBBS, DNB (BOM) Psychiatrist, Sexologist, De-addiction Specialist