The rise of the solo poly woman

Relationship status: Solo poly… If you’ve wondering what that is, it’s short for solo polyamory. If you’ve still wondering what that is, it’s those women who choose to have multiple partners rather than a primary anchor or partner for their emotional and physical needs. No strings attached.
'It is choosing yourself first'
Gabrielle Smith, writer and polyamory resource, who often shares about non-monogamous relationships on her Instagram page, posted: “Solo polyamory isn't choosing to be selfies.It is choosing yourself first. This mantra is for all of us: we choose ourselves, our own paths, and our lives. We exist together with our partners, but separately in whatever terms determine our solo nature. When you feel uncertain, remind yourself why you choose this path. For me, it was to heal. And for me, nothing was more healing than being loved while prioritising myself."
Willow Smith: The poster girl of solo poly
Last year, Willow Smith explained her relationship choices while appearing on a show with mom Jada Pinkett Smith. She said: "It's about being able to have the freedom to create a relationship for yourself. With polyamory, I think the main foundation is the freedom to create a relationship style that works for you and not just stepping into monogamy because that's what everyone around you says is the right thing to do," she said.
'Popular among well-travelled, independent women'
Psychologist Dr Seema Hingoranny says that she has come across some of her clients who choose to go solo poly and have no qualms about it. "When someone comes for a session, they look for a change or rectification, but these women are comfortable leading lives where they are content with themselves in their primary circle, while they choose to have multiple partners who are aware of this. I see this among well-travelled, independent women, as their primary focus is career or their own well-being, without wanting any emotional baggage that will restrict them," she observes, adding that one of her clients found the lifestyle intriguing when she met a friend from the West during her travels.
But what is it that could drive one into a solo poly lifestyle? "It could factor into some kind of trauma faced, either because they have seen a bad relationship with their parents or an early relationship in their life was not what they expected it to be, leading to trust and boundary issues. However, it is also a lifestyle choice that women have been emphatic about embracing, with no regrets," says Dr Seema, adding that women may choose to confide in their therapists because their friends might still judge them on the lifestyle in India.
What is solo poly?
Solo poly or solo polyamory is when a person chooses to have multiple partners, physical or emotional, but chooses to prioritise themselves first. None of their partners end up on a relationship escalator, which could be marriage, co-inhabiting or anything serious.
Beyond mono and poly
Vee: When one person is dating two persons, but the relationships are separate
Triad: Also known as throuple, it is when three persons are involved with each other
Quad: A relationship between four individuals
Hierarchical polyamory: This is where the individual has a primary partner, but has other secondary options too
Kitchen table polyamory: This is for a group of people who are all comfortable hanging out with each other
Mono-poly: Where one partner is polyamorous, while the other is monogamous