Strong women, stronger beliefs

We talk to two strong women about their beliefs...
‘My matriarchal family tree inspires me’
Namita Gokhale, writer
I don’t know about other women, but I get my strength from the other women in my family. I have a very large extended family, both from my Kumaoni roots and my late husband’s Maharashtrian side of the family. There are so many women there, who are strong and resilient, that there’s an actual fabric of feminine strength and support around me.
About 10 years ago, an uncle of mine gave me something very precious — a matriarchal family tree.Beginning with Tillottama, born somewhere in the mid-18th century, and who would have been my great-great-grandmother, Deoki (1884-1935), my beloved grandmother Shakuntala, my mother Neerja and my older daughter Meru, it has been six generations of first-born daughters. They were, I am told, and as I have observed in living memory, strong and stubborn women, and I feel this powerful sense of continuity with them.
My grandmother Shakuntala turned up as a character in my novel Gods, Graves and Grandmothers. I also did a book on oral history around her, using her recorded memoirs and those of three other grandmothers, which was to become Mountain Echoes.
Born in an extremely traditional Brahman Kumaoni family, she flouted every rule in the book and had a passion for gambling. She was beautiful, large-hearted and reckless and didn’t lose her spirit ever, until she died. I remember when on her 80th birthday, I took her shopping and wondered if I should buy her a CD of some bhajans. She was outraged and asked, “Do you think I’m going to start listening to bhajans just because I’ve grown old?”
There was a mixture of tyranny and charm in my grandmother’s nature, which I could never fathom. And somehow, she connected with me more than anyone else. I have a collection of photographs of my grandmother and somewhere in my head, I’m working to compile a novel around her, her mother and grandmother. Kumaoni women get something of the mountain strength in them, they are very, very tough indeed, and something there has sparked off a need to record this strength in a novel.
‘Buddhism transformed me!’
Rina Dhaka, designer
I was introduced to Buddhism about eight years ago. It has been a life altering experience. It's perfect for learning how to cope with situations and is like a daily challenge.
The Buddhism I practice was founded by Nichiren Daishonin, an ancient sage from Japan. I am a member of the Bharat Soka Gakkai, which means a value creating society. The process involves a daily chanting, during which we try to overcome our health, financial and relationship karmas. Chanting acts as a mirror to my soul, where I can clearly see my weaknesses and strengths and it helps me cope better.
My concentration has improved. Earlier, I was I was jumpy, fearful and so hyper that I wouldn't listen to another person. Some obvious benefits are that I can sleep well, deal with my fears and have the confidence that I can overcome my weaknesses. At work too, I feel more confident. I'm more content with my strengths and am not so driven by the rat race. A Buddhist member once asked me when I apologised for reaching late to inaugurate a show, after juggling work, “Rina, what are you running after? What are you running for?” That was it, the journey's the same for all of us, but I feel my path gets better illuminated with my practice.
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