Are you falling prey to dating scams?

On August 22, Arun, a Mumbai resident, thought he was enjoying a normal date after matching with a girl on a dating app. Then, the bill arrived, and he was swindled out of nearly Rs 73,000! In a similar incident, a Delhi civil service aspirant on a date was handed a bill of a whopping Rs 1.21 lakh for a meal that should have cost just a fraction of the amount. When he questioned the inflated charges, he was threatened into paying. This is just the tip of the iceberg of dating app scams. With increasing instances like these in cities like Delhi, Mumbai, Bangalore, Pune and Hyderabad, experts help us decode these scams and share ways to safeguard yourself from falling prey to them.
With the advent of social media and various dating apps, emotionally available people, looking for companionship, can sometimes be an easy target for criminals. The emotionally available people tend to get easily manipulated by these sinister criminals into revealing their personal and financial secrets.-Hariom Seth, Founder, Tagglabs

Anatomy of a dating scam

Step 1: Creation of convincing but fake profiles on apps, using stolen photos and fabricated stories to gain your trust
Step 2: Schedule a date, usually at a location of the scamster’s choice
Step 3: Order anything and everything on offer
Step 4: Vanish just before the overpriced bill arrives, block or disappear after scamming you
Step 5: Money defrauded from you is split between the venue and the scamsters

This scam is running smoothly across multiple cities and seems like an organised syndicate. Victims report similar schemes: women order large amounts of expensive alcohol in a short span and frequently visit the washroom, likely to update their accomplices. When the bill arrives, the women either disappear or claim they can't pay-Deepika Bharadwaj, an activist

Scams to be aware of
Online dating scams go beyond inflated club bills. In September 2023, an Ahmedabad software engineer lost nearly ₹1 crore in cryptocurrency after a woman he met on a dating site turned out to be a con artist. Similarly, an Indian software professional in the US lost $450,000 (Rs 3.73 crore) in a cryptocurrency scam orchestrated by a man she met on a dating app. The top dating scams involve:
-False intimacy: Scammers move conversations from the dating app to other platforms to build a false sense of closeness. Once they have gained your trust, they suddenly disappear, sparking curiosity. When you reach out, they spin tales of family emergencies or financial woes, pressuring you for money.
-Secluded meetings:Fraudsters build trust before arranging a meeting at a remote location. Upon arrival, accomplices confront the victim and extort money and valuables
-Financial fraud: Scammers pose as wealthy professionals and suggest lucrative investments in cryptocurrencies. They promise quick returns but disappear with the money once you've invested

Some users on dating apps, in collusion with shady bar owners, create fake profiles to lure victims into paying inflated bills through intimidation. To combat this, most apps have mechanisms to detect and block such profiles. Always check a profile’s Trust Score to gauge trustworthiness before moving to platforms like WhatsApp or arranging offline meetings.-Snehil Khanor, founder of a dating app

How to protect yourself?
- Don’t trust individuals on dating apps until you’ve met them in person
- Verify if the name on the payment app matches the individual/ venue you're dealing with
- Refrain from engaging in any financial dealings with new acquaintances
- Always meet for the first time in well-populated areas
- If you find yourself faced with suspiciously high bills, contact the police immediately
- Don’t delete chats. Keep records of all communications for evidence
- Crosscheck the person’s identity on various social platforms
- Use Google’s reverse search to validate the person’s identity
- Don’t share your intimate pictures with people you meet on dating apps

77% Indians said they’d come across fake profiles and/or photos that look AI-generated on dating apps or social media
39% Indians saying their conversations with a potential love interest online turned out to be with a scammer
24% surge in dating scams in 2022
Rs 200 crore financial losses due to dating scams
66% Indians have been deceived through online dating schemes
43% Indians reported falling victim to AI voice scams, with a staggering 83 percent of those targeted suffering financial loss, in 2023
(Source: NCRB, McAfee Modern Love study 2024 and a report by Tenable)

Photo of an inflated bill from August 2024 at a Mumbai-based club shared by activist Deepika Bharadwaj onsocial media

I met a girl on a dating app who suggested we meet at a pizza place. However, once I arrived, she redirected us to a club. There, she ordered a large amount of alcohol. I grew suspicious when she went to the washroom thrice, each time followed by two men from the bar. She also made small talk to gauge my financial situation. After her third trip to the washroom, I was handed a bill for Rs 73,000. She told me to pay for now and promised to reimburse me later. Meanwhile, bouncers stood nearby, making me feel pressured. After paying, she left abruptly, claiming she had to take urgent calls from her mother. It was only then I realised I had been scammed.
-Arun, who recently filed an FIR in Mumbai

I matched with someone on a dating app, and our conversations were enjoyable and easy-going. Despite planning to meet several times, his excuses kept delaying our meeting. After chatting for about a month, he suddenly asked me for Rs 5,000 for a medical emergency. Given that he seemed well-off, I found the request odd and said I couldn’t help at the moment. Following this, his behaviour became erratic. When he asked for money again a few days later, I decided it was best to cut off contact.
-Shalini*, name changed on request


Is there a legal remedy?
“Dating apps come under the category of intermediaries. They have to ensure the security of their users,” shares Mrinmoi Chatterjee, advocate, Supreme Court, adding, “In case of such scams, along with action under IT Act, FIR can also be registered under Section 319(1) of Bharatiya Nyaya Sanhita, 2023/ Section 416 IPC which lays down the provision for cheating by Personation and U/s 319(2)/ Section 419 which prescribe punishment of cheating by personation (Punishment for a term which may extend to 5 years), Provision U/s 316 BNS Criminal Breach of Trust/ Section 405 IPC, Section 316 (2) Punishment for Criminal breach of trust/ Section 406 IPC and Section 351 BNS Criminal Intimidation/ Section 503 IPC.”

To identify a dating scam, pay attention to the discrepancies in the other person’s narrative, especially if they are reluctant to engage in a video chat or meet up in person. One sign that the person is fake is when a person that you have never met in person is likely to start asking for money or some details. So, one should always remember that even if the person looks quite genuine, one must not forget they’re skeptical. Never believe a word they say, google their pictures and watch out for those who fall in love too easily, or they want you to keep secrets.-Manish Tewari, Co-Founder, Spydra Technologies