They’re unemployed, but convince you they’re building something of their own. Soon, you’re told that love and commitment mean putting a roof over their head, food on their plate, and funding their wants and needs for a ‘shared future.’ But many have realised too late that they were actually being exploited by partners who lived rent-free, never shared household responsibilities, drove their car like it was their own, and hardly made any emotional and financial investments in the relationship.
What is it
Hobosexuality refers to a relationship dynamic where one pursues or maintains a romance mainly for shelter, financial support & material comfort rather than out of genuine love or emotional connection
Genuine dynamic or deceiving tactic?
It can be both. Sohini Rohra, a relationship and fertility psychologist, explains, “For some, it’s circumstantial – Economic hardships or family challenges may push someone into seeking security through a partner. For others, it can be manipulative, where the intent is to exploit a partner’s resources without genuine reciprocity. When dependency hides behind the guise of love, it often leaves one partner drained and resentful.”
Is it a rising trend in India?
Social media has given language to a quiet reality by making hobosexuality a buzzword. Nidhika Bahl, a relationship coach, says, “This label has enabled abuse-recovery educators and survivors to use it to share stories of exploitation and highlight
warning signs.”
Hobosexuality is now seen becoming a pragmatic, risky reality in India. Rohra says, “With live-in relationships becoming more common in metros, rising costs, unstable jobs, and high lifestyle aspirations make hobosexuality more relevant. For some, relationships become a shortcut to avoid the financial and social challenges of living alone.”
How to identify a hobosexual
- They rush into moving in together unusually fast
- They often engage in love bombing gestures, but their financial contributions remain minimal or consistently avoided
- Emotional intimacy often takes a backseat to material or logistical needs
- You feel more like a caretaker or provider than an equal partner
- They are often evasive about their address or tenancy, live out of bags, and have no fixed residence
- They are often unemployed and disguise long gaps in work as an ‘entrepreneurial hustle’
(As suggested by Sohini Rohra, relationship and fertility psychologist) To avoid being exploited by a hobosexual, put money and chores in writing before moving in and watch out if someone resists clarity. Slow things down until there’s full transparency. Define your boundaries clearly
Nidhika Bahl, a relationship coach