Domestic violence: Recognizing patterns and seeking help

According to the data available with the National Commission for Women (NCW), a statutory body concerned with advising the government on all policy matters affecting women, a total of 1,463 complaints of domestic violence against women were received between January-March 2021. In addition, the number of complaints of domestic violence received by the NCW saw a sharp rise during the lockdown, increasing from 2,960 in 2019 to 5,297 in 2020. Furthermore, the National Crime Records Bureau (NCRB) 2019 data suggests that almost 30 percent of the total number of crimes against women are registered under Section 498A of the Indian Penal Code (IPC), which deals with ‘cruelty by husband or his relatives.'

Going by the given data, there is no doubt that domestic violence is prevalent all across India. Moreover, it is not restricted to the rural or lesser developed areas but big cities as well. At a time when it is at its peak due to the COVID-19 induced lockdown, it is our responsibility to educate ourselves more about the issue.

The United Nations (UN) defines domestic violence as "a pattern of behavior in any relationship that is used to gain or maintain power and control over an intimate partner." This could include any behavior that frightens, intimidates, terrorizes, manipulates, hurts, humiliates, blames, injures, or wounds someone. The abuse is not only restricted to physical violence. It could be sexual, emotional, or psychological as well.

There are several behavioral patterns that are signs of domestic violence. One needs to identify them in order to determine whether they are in an abusive relationship or not. Here are 7 such patterns.

1. Your partner calls you names, insults you or puts you down.

2. Prevents or discourages you from going to work, school, seeing family members, or friends.

3. Controls how you spend money, where you go, what medicines you take, or what you wear.

4. Gets angry when drinking alcohol or using drugs.

5. Tries to control whether you can see a health care provider.

6. Threatens you with violence or a weapon.

7. Hurts you, your children, or your pets physically.

8. In the case of LGBTQIA people - Your partner tells you that authorities won't help a lesbian, bisexual or transgender person.

If you are facing domestic violence at the hands of your partner, the following resources can help:

1. Turn to a friend, loved one, neighbor, or co-worker.

2. Call a hotline for intervention and referrals to resources, such as women's shelters.

3. A local women's shelter or crisis center.

4. A counseling or mental health center.

5. A local police station or court.

After you have decided to escape the abuser, it is very important to create a safety plan to do so. Here’s how you can do it.

1. Call a women's shelter or domestic violence helpline for advice. Also, make sure to call at a safe time when the abuser isn't around or from other safe locations.

2. Keep an emergency bag ready that includes items you will need when you leave. Keep the bag in a safe place along with important personal papers, money, and medications.

3. Know exactly where you will go and how you will get there.