What climbing mountains has taught me about raising a child

Take one step at a time. That is the first lesson the mountains taught me. And, it is the first lesson I try to practise as a mom to two girls. When you climb, you do not look at the summit every minute. If you do, you will feel overwhelmed. You focus on the next step, the next breath, the next safe foothold. Parenting is the same. We often worry about outcomes, grades, careers, character, relationships and the future. But all we really have is this moment. All we can do is give our best right now. You may choose the path. But the destination is not always yours to decide.I used to work as a financial advisor and was happy juggling my work and parenting roles. But life, and my goal, changed after I suffered a stroke in October 2021. Basic things like lifting a cup or washing my hair became difficult. The recovery was hard. I felt like giving up every single day but somewhere during the process something shifted in me. I felt that if I have to regain my old self, I have to do something big. I decided to try mountaineering and never looked back. Last year, I achieved two Guinness World Records in the CIH (coordination impairment-hemiplegia) category for the fastest ascent and descent of Mount Kilimanjaro, Tanzania, by a female climber. Over the past four years, I have discovered so many similarities between mountain climbing and parenting. To climb a mountain, you prepare for months. You train hard. You plan every detail. And yet, any factor can change the whole thing. Sometimes you summit. Sometimes you turn back. Parenting humbles you in the same way. You can plan. You can guide. But you cannot control everything. You learn to accept what comes your way. Acceptance is not a weakness. It is wisdom.It is okay to feel down. You do not have to push yourself to be your best every single day. On the mountain, if you push too hard, you pay for it. Exhaustion at high altitude can be dangerous. The same applies to parenting. Forcing yourself beyond your limits does not always lead to good outcomes. Sometimes strength is listening to your body. Sometimes strength is resting.Mountaineering taught me the importance of seeking help. For a long time, I believed I had to do everything myself. Like many mothers, I used to carry everything on my shoulders. I thought asking for help meant I was failing. In the mountains, you cannot survive alone. You depend on your team. You trust your rope partner. You listen to your guides. You lean on your support system. We should do the same at home. It is okay to lean on family. It is okay to say, “I need help.” That is not a weakness. That is maturity. Whether it is an hour at the salon or thirty minutes of quiet time, we must learn to ask. Nothing happens without us asking for it. The first few times we ask, the world around us may judge. But if you are consistent, people adjust.When I was training on trails or preparing for expeditions, there were days I felt I was failing at home. When my children began managing things without me, it hurt. I questioned myself. Sometimes, they complained that I was missing events. That was hard to hear as a mother because all you want to do is be there for them 24/7. So, I sat them down and spoke honestly. I explained what I was working towards and why it mattered to me. I also listened to them. We discussed what could be compromised and what could not. Those conversations changed everything.My biggest advice to mothers struggling to balance it all is this: there is no perfect balance, and there is beauty in that imbalance. Allow yourself to live your own life and make mistakes too. Have honest conversations with your children. We often underestimate them. More often than not, they understand more than we think. It’s more dangerous to let them assume. It’s best to communicate and correct their perception. They will always stand by us when we include them in our journey; operate as one team.When children see you respecting your dreams, they learn to respect theirs. When they see you set boundaries, they learn to set their own. Children do not learn by our words. They learn by watching our actions. So, be bold enough to show them your effort, your discipline and your vulnerability.The mountains taught me endurance. Motherhood taught me perspective. Both taught me that strength is not about reaching the top every time. It is about showing up and taking one step at a time.Mohan is an entrepreneur and mountaineer