5 hidden reasons toddlers ask ‘why’ repeatedly

If you are the parent of a toddler, the chances are that you hear the word “why” repeated throughout the day more times than you can count. In simple activities or in the subtleties of adult conversations, the toddler appears curious in ways that are just amazing. However, instead of being frustrating or irritating, such behaviour marks an important developmental milestone. Every time the toddler asks “why,” there is an underlying need being fulfilled.

Toddlers are living in a world that’s full of brand-new experiences all day, every day and when the toddlers ask “why,” it's because they are trying to understand concepts related to cause and effect, as in “why is the sky that colour," “why does food taste that way," or “why are there rules." The responses to “why” help toddlers create connections between ideas and fill a memory storage room. When a toddler asks “why,” it reinforces a neural pathway. Toddlers are learning to think by asking “why, why, why."

The more their vocabulary grows, the more they're exploring the use of the words they know. “Why” is an opportunity to use sentence formation and intonation as well as to follow a communicative pattern. More than likely, the child is not as interested in the answer as they are in the communication process itself. “Why” questions are also an indication that the child is hungry to share their thoughts and be heard.

Sometimes, “Why” has nothing to do with seeking information and everything to do with comfort. Young children may ask “Why” in an attempt to get themselves comfortable or even just to get some kind of reassurance, particularly in situations that are novel and different or in situations that are scary or negative in some other way. When this question is asked, it is not always about getting an answer, although sometimes that is what is necessary in parenting.

Toddlers are continually attempting to grasp what is allowed and what is not allowed. The “why” game is an excellent way to help toddlers grasp the logic of the rule, why there is bedtime, why they should not shout, and why they should share. Repeating the same rule invariably indicates that the child is not being rebellious but is seriously attempting to grasp the logic.

For toddlers, “why” questioning is also a method of connecting. The child wants to communicate, make eye contact, and share focus, all of which the child feels a deep need to do. When parents are engaged, the constant use of the word “why” may mean “talk to me.” It may just mean that the child feels the urge to communicate, and answering the child in a thoughtful way will fulfil that need.