The silent competition teens face in school and social life

Today’s teenagers live in a world where everything is compared: achievements, looks, and status. While competition may be overt in academic or sporting arenas, there is also a silent competition that is not so openly discussed. From academic and sporting achievements to social media status and friends, teenagers feel an ongoing pressure to compare themselves to others. While this silent competition may not be so obvious to parents or educators, it is an important factor to consider when trying to help teenagers develop self-confidence and self-awareness.

Academic competition with peers at school

One of the main arenas where silent competition begins is at school. While teenagers may not be overtly competing with each other, competition through grades and teacher accolades makes teenagers feel as though they are constantly compared to their peers. When teenagers observe that their peers are doing better on tests or on assignments, they feel an ongoing pressure to compete with or surpass their peers’ grades. While this silent competition may be an ongoing positive force for some teenagers, it may also be a negative force that makes teenagers feel as though they are only worthy if they excel academically.




Pressures to excel at multiple activities

Today’s teenagers are being encouraged to succeed not only in academic pursuits but also in sports, arts, leadership, and extracurricular activities. Although this provides a venue to develop skills in various areas, it also breeds a kind of silent rivalry. Teenagers are often reminded that they should not only participate in many activities but also excel in them to keep up with their peers. Witnessing their peers being recognized or awarded in various activities may also lead them to think that they are not doing enough. This pressure to constantly perform in many areas may lead teenagers to worry about how they can meet expectations.

Social media and the comparison trap

Silent rivalry is also fueled by social media. Teenagers are exposed to social media that is filled with photos, achievements, and lifestyle stories. Because of this, teenagers may think that everyone else is having a more exciting and fulfilling life than they are. Witnessing their friends’ social media posts about parties, vacations, achievements, and even physical appearance may lead teenagers to compare their lives to those of their peers. Because this is a silent and constant comparison, it may slowly affect their self-esteem and lead them to think that they are constantly lagging behind others.

Friendships and social circles

Silent rivalry is also experienced in friendships and social circles. Teenagers are also being reminded that they should not only belong to a social circle but also become popular in it. Because of this, there may also be a kind of silent rivalry in friendships. Teenagers may compare themselves to their peers in order to belong and to gain popularity in their social circle. Although this is a normal experience in teenage life, it is a feeling that is experienced intensely.



Learning to focus on personal growth

Although competition is a part of life, it is also helpful to assist teenagers in keeping their eyes fixed on personal development rather than competition. When teenagers are made to understand that everyone grows at their own rate, they may start to look at success in a different way. Encouraging teenagers to celebrate their own strengths, interests, and endeavors can also ease the burden of silent competition. Parents and teachers can have a talk with teenagers to make them understand that success is not about winning over others but about learning, developing, and finding their own way in life.