‘Where is Jessica?’: Inside the quirky parenting trend calming toddler meltdowns

A unique parenting technique that has taken social media by storm under the name of “Where is Jessica?” is gaining popularity as a foolproof way to make toddlers stop crying right away. The idea may seem odd initially but it has gained widespread acceptance among desperate parents dealing with their little ones' tantrums.

What is the “Where is Jessica?” phenomenon?

The “Where is Jessica?” technique is a straightforward one that involves saying something along the lines of “Oh wait… where is Jessica?” during a toddler's tantrum even if there’s no such person as Jessica around. The question will surprise the kid, making them stop crying to search for Jessica.

How does it work?

The experts say that it works based on the principle of "pattern interrupt." This means that it disrupts the emotional cycle of the child and focuses his attention somewhere else. 

In general, toddlers usually have tantrums because they have too many emotions that they cannot control.  When you start talking about random things, the toddler suddenly gets distracted and stops feeling the emotion, which allows him to relax.

Why parents love it

Many parents find it quite helpful in public places where there is a lot of stress, and they do not want to create even more problems. It helps to solve a problem quickly and easily, without raising your voice or getting frustrated. It is also very convenient and easy to use you don’t need any preparations.


But is it good parenting?

Despite its effectiveness, this trend causes debate among psychologists. They argue that while shock therapy may be an easy solution to bad behavior, it will not resolve the emotions themselves. Paediatricians believe that too much use of such methods can make children unable to deal with their emotions and learn how to express them. Sometimes, repeated shocks might even confuse or scare children.
What is more effective

According to psychologists, although shock therapy might help at times, the main step is always to connect emotionally and support the child.

These simple actions, including:
• Recognizing the child’s emotions,
• Remaining present,
• Conveying sympathy and offering options


The #WhereIsJessica trend epitomises parenting today imaginative, authentic, and occasionally a bit frantic for instant solutions. It might provide some respite from the chaos for a while, but all agree that it’s meant only as a stop-gap measure, not a permanent one. Since the root cause behind every tantrum isn’t naughty behaviour it’s a child’s attempt to comprehend their powerful emotions within a tiny world.