What Sudha Murty gets right about parenting (and most of us forget)

There’s something refreshingly simple about the way Sudha Murty talks about raising children. No complicated theories, no pressure to “optimise” childhood. Just a quiet insistence on values that feel almost old-school now, but maybe that’s exactly why they matter more.
She’s often spoken about how giving children too much, too early, can backfire. Not just in terms of material things, but comfort, ease, and even attention. And it makes you pause. Because somewhere along the way, parenting started to look like constant providing. Better schools, better gadgets, better opportunities. Always more.
But what she reminds us is this: when everything comes easy, children don’t always learn to value it. They don’t learn patience, or effort, or the idea that not every want needs to be met immediately. And that’s not about being strict or withholding. It’s about balance. Letting them earn things. Letting them wait sometimes. Letting them understand that life doesn’t always adjust to them.

There’s also this strong thread in her thinking about discipline, but not the harsh, rigid kind people often associate with the word. It’s quieter than that. More about routine, responsibility, and showing up.
Simple things. Waking up on time. Finishing what you start. Respecting other people’s time. It doesn’t sound dramatic, but these are the habits that quietly shape how a person grows.
And honestly, these are the things that are easiest to overlook today. Life is busy, parents are tired, and it feels easier to let small things slide. Skip the chore. Ignore the mess. Let them stay up a bit longer. It feels harmless in the moment.
But over time, those small patterns become bigger ones. That’s the part we don’t always see.

One thing Sudha Murty has always emphasised is exposure. Not the curated, picture-perfect version of life, but the real one. She’s spoken about taking her children to places where they could see how others live, especially those with less.
And it’s not about making children feel guilty. It’s about helping them understand perspective. When kids grow up only seeing comfort, they start to assume that’s the default. That everyone lives the same way. That struggles are rare or distant.
But when they see different realities, something shifts. Gratitude becomes more natural. Empathy isn’t something you have to teach with words, it comes from what they’ve seen and felt.
And that kind of awareness stays.

She’s also been clear about how education isn’t just about marks or ranks. Which, in a country like India, is almost a radical thing to say. Because so much of childhood still revolves around exams, scores, and constant comparison.
But what she points out is that learning is bigger than that. It’s about curiosity. About asking questions. About understanding how things work, not just memorising answers.
And this is where many parents feel stuck. Because the system itself pushes marks so heavily that it’s hard to step back. But even within that, there’s space. Space to encourage reading beyond textbooks. Space to let children explore what they enjoy. Space to fail without turning it into a crisis.
Because at the end of the day, marks fade. But how a child learns, that stays.

Maybe the most underrated thing she gets right is this: children don’t really listen to what you say, they watch what you do.
You can tell them to be kind, but if they don’t see kindness at home, it doesn’t stick. You can talk about honesty, but if they see you bending rules, they notice. More than we think.
And this is the uncomfortable part of parenting. Because it’s not just about shaping them, it’s about checking yourself too. The habits you show. The way you speak. The way you handle stress, failure, even everyday interactions.
It’s subtle, but it builds their understanding of the world.

There’s a quiet steadiness in Sudha Murty’s approach. It doesn’t chase perfection. It doesn’t treat parenting like a competition. And maybe that’s what makes it feel so relevant right now.
Because a lot of parenting today comes with pressure. To do more, to be more, to raise “successful” children by a very narrow definition.
But what she seems to remind us, again and again, is that raising good humans isn’t about doing everything. It’s about doing the right things, consistently. Even if they feel small. Even if they go unnoticed for a while.
And maybe that’s the part most of us forget.

Images: https://x.com/FansMurty