Nakuul Mehta on parenting: 5 things parents should never ever say to children

Actor and podcast personality Nakuul Mehta recently talked about the importance of parenting language and how certain words and phrases that are part of our day-to-day lives may actually affect our children’s self-confidence, emotions, and personal space. During one of his podcasts, where he talked to his wife about their experiences as parents, he shared various phrases that are generally part of our lives, yet we are not even aware of their implications and how they may affect our children’s emotional lives. Experts opine that the language and phrases we use at our homes are responsible for creating our children’s self-confidence, emotional well-being, and personal space. There are many phrases that are generally part of our lives, yet they may affect our children’s self-confidence and emotions. Here are five things parents should not say to their children and why.

“Boys don’t cry”

One of the first things children are made to hear during their growing years is “Boys don’t cry." While many parents may think that they are instilling courage and manliness in their children, experts are of the opinion that such phrases may actually affect their children’s emotional well-being. Children, be it boys or girls, should be made to understand that crying is normal and expressing their emotions is not a sign of weakness. Expressing emotions is one way to bring up children as emotionally well-rounded individuals.

“Shame, shame” or body teasing words

In many homes, parents use words related to the body and appearance, such as “shame shame” or similar words. These words are normally said in a playful way by parents. However, these words may be taken seriously by children, and they may develop shame regarding their bodies. According to psychologists, children are very sensitive to words related to their bodies and appearance. Even if parents say these words in a playful way, these words may remain in the minds of children for many years. Parents should be very careful while using words related to the body, appearance, and shame, as these words may affect the self-confidence of children.

Asking for hugs or kisses in exchange for rewards

Another common behavior seen in many parents is when parents ask their children for hugs and kisses in return for some reward. This may be said in a playful way by parents. However, according to experts, parents are sending the wrong message to their children. In fact, children should be made to understand that hugs and kisses are not given in return for anything. It’s very important for parents to make their children understand that their bodies are their own and that they can say no to anything.

Forcing children to share everything

Parents often instruct their children to share everything immediately, even if they are uncomfortable with it. Sharing is an important trait, and children should learn to share, but forcing them to share their belongings or their toys with others all the time might make them think that their feelings don't matter. Children should also learn to set boundaries and to own things. The parents should not force children to share, but they should teach them to share by talking to them and showing them how to share. Children should learn to be kind and to share, but they should also learn that they have their own boundaries and their own belongings.

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“Be a good boy” or “Be a good girl”

Instructing children to always be a good boy or a good girl might sound like a good piece of advice, but it places a great deal of pressure on children to be perfect and to please everyone around them. Kids might turn out to be people pleasers, and this might make them anxious about their mistakes. It is better to discuss children's behaviour and values with them, such as being kind, honest, and respectful, rather than instructing them to be good. Children need to have emotional safety in their families where they are accepted, listened to, and appreciated, but not judged.