Confused and upset?
In the age of social media, we come across a variety of videos and relatable content many of which are about kids. We have seen social media content where parents record the reaction of their first born kids when they learn that a new sibling is about to come.
We see angry, confused and visibly upset kids who are stamping their feet in anger after learning about their sibling.
But do they really feel the same?
"They had positive feelings about their siblings before their birth"
A 2018 research on 52 Chinese parents and their firstborns, published in the Journal of reproductive and infant psychology, found that the first borns have positive feelings about having a sibling.
The mothers were in the third trimester of pregnancy and the conclusion was obtained by means of observation and parent-reported questionnaires.
Birth of the second child has an impact on mother-first born attachment
A study published in 1995 in the American Journal of Orthopsychiatry.
"Results suggested that an infant's attachment status before the birth of a sibling changes after the birth. Changes in attachment were found in both directions, with some infants changing from secure to insecure attachment and others from insecure to secure," the study found. The researchers identified that financial expenditure, mental health of the mother, temperament of the first born, temperament of the second born are the factors that affected the attachment between the mom and the first born.
A second child is likely to change the dynamics in a family
This is a personal experience shared by many parents. With the birth of a second child, the existing dynamics in the family changes drastically. During this time, a behavioural change in the first born is most likely to happen.
The key lies in helping your first one adjust
As much as it is important to prepare yourself for the second child it is also important to prepare the first one. Talk to your child about the new sibling and how beautiful it will be to have a sibling.
Share your stories about your siblings so that the kid understands the importance and joy of having a sibling.
"Sharing is caring"
One of the main reasons for sibling rivalry in the early years is the difficulty in sharing stuff. First borns hesitate to share their time, space, even parents with the new one.
Introduce your kid to the concept of sharing. Teach them the act of kindness and co-existence.
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