This story is from November 11, 2018

How they kicked their digital addiction

How they kicked their digital addiction
Rashmi GS spends time with her daughters, Avni and Ritvi, reading and listening to radio. (Photo credit: Mohammed Asad)
'My son would WhatsApp me instead of talking'
Shannon Almeida | 50 | Mumbai
Until six months ago, I was constantly on Facebook and WhatsApp. This upset my husband who felt I had no time for him, only for my friends. My son, who's 21, would WhatsApp me instead of talking face to face even when we were in the same house.
That's when my husband instated some rules for us.
1x1 polls
First, no phones are permitted on the dinner table. Second, 7 to 9pm has become interaction time. We sit and talk about our day. My son tells us about his friends and what's going on in his life. I work at a school, so I discuss that. We spend far more time together as a family. I also let my friends know not to call me unless it's urgent and message me instead. I'm no longer interested in wasting time talking on the phone.
Our bond as a family has definitely become stronger since we made these changes. We have a TV in the bedroom, which we turn on when there's something all of us want to watch together—like a cricket match. We also go out more on the weekend, which we never did. My husband and I have started going out with our friends, for live music and dancing.
Time-Wellspent Logo

'My lowest point was when I chose my phone over my kid's birthday'
Rajeev Jha | 44 | Patna

According to me, there are two main reasons for getting addicted to the internet: our own poor understanding of priorities, and the fact that these days our work is mostly online.
I was badly addicted to social media a year ago. I was constantly chatting on WhatsApp and Facebook. I almost disconnected from the real world. The lowest point for me was when I avoided attending my daughter's 10th birthday party because I'd rather spend time on my phone.
I didn't even pay attention to her new dress, which she had bought for the occasion. She didn't speak to me for two days after that and I didn't even notice. I started ignoring my family and close friends. I would be cranky and rude to everyone. Observing these behavioural changes in me, my wife urged me to get rid of this addiction. I may have scores of friends on social media but in real life I could be left alone if I continued to ignore my family.
How did I change myself? I started small, doing simple chores that would take my mind off these devices. For example, dropping my daughter to school in the morning, then going for a workout, buying groceries, washing my car, ironing my clothes, planning a dinner outing with family and not taking my phone along.
It was as difficult as quitting smoking. When I started spending time with my children, they would taunt me by asking, 'How come you have time to talk to us?
The first three months were very difficult, but as I progressed I realised that nothing is more important than human relationships and no addiction should take us away from them.
'We gave up the TV and shut off our WiFi at 9pm'
Rashmi GS | 34 | Bengaluru
My husband and I lived in Singapore for almost a decade, and relocated to Bengaluru about a year ago. In Singapore, our Wi-Fi was on 24x7. Our daughters are 7 and 4 years old, and after reading articles about how technology is detrimental to their physical and mental growth, we decided to use the move as an opportunity to disconnect.
Because we were moving, we couldn't bring all our devices with us. We decided not to have a TV in our home. Instead, we listen to the radio. I teach my kids songs, dance moves and shlokas. When there are so many productive ways to stay busy, why waste time on the idiot box?
The Wi-Fi is turned off at 9pm, after the girls go to bed. I've read studies about the ways in which Wi-Fi signals negatively affect their brain growth. My husband cribs about it, but it's for the greater good.
Earlier, our girls used to fight over the TV remote. We used to either give them the remote or a tablet to pacify them, but now they never fight. They've learnt to connect with each other. One thing that has helped this transition is giving the kids some responsibility by letting be our teachers a few times a week. My older one Avni, who is flexible is our yoga guru while the younger one, Ritvi, has become our meditation expert.
'It took a month to get my 12-year-old to break her TV habit'
Seema Modi | 39 | Gurgaon
All parents I know are struggling to wean their children off television and internet. While technology has many benefits, it does affect a child's overall development if misused.
I experienced this first hand when my daughter Riya, 12, got into the habit of watching TV and videos on my phone while eating. She was just five at the time. She used to see the rest of the family watching TV while eating and copied them. She demanded that I feed her all the time. This was affecting both her health as well as my state of mind. This is when I realised I had to do something to break this habit.
I patiently explained to Riya that all meals had to be eaten with family members. She would get TV time only after she finishes her food. I discussed this approach with my family and we all decided to be role models for the child. What we do, she will do.
Initially, Riya cried a lot. She didn't eat for almost a week. This was extremely difficult for me and the rest of the family. They asked me to give her some respite but I held firm.
I followed the same routine for every meal. We all ate along with her, adding variety every time by talking to her about the food she was eating, narrating stories to her and at other times playing music for a soothing and peaceful meal-time experience.
This was not easy. It took almost a month to break her habit. We were patient, sincere and dedicated, and Riya realised that no matter what she does she will not be allowed to watch TV or use the phone while eating. Now, she enjoys her meal times and eats well on her own.
End of Article
FOLLOW US ON SOCIAL MEDIA