The new mutant male

Men. They keep mutating. In the 1990s Susan Faludi traced the rise of the Stiffed American male: a backlash to the ascendant feminazi who tried to control everything — from deployment in the boardroom to behaviour in the bedroom. Faludi wondered where the Little Lads of her growing up years had gone — Bobby on the corner who roamed the neighbourhood with his cap, gun and holster, terrorising girls and household pets; Ronnie who wore his Superman suit way past Halloween and leaped from the living room floor to crack open his head on the foyer linoleum.Frankie who blew off part of his pinkie while trying to ignite a miniature rocket in the school yard. Truly an all-male archetype that had become a vanishing species by the end of the 20th century.
Today, sociologists are blaming Beckham and his band of brothers -- Ken Thorpe, Hugh Jackman, Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt, Pat Rafter — for the birth of the New Mutant: the Metrosexual male. He’s the man who has a salmon pink shirt in his wardrobe, who visits the hairdresser instead of the barber, avoids using soap because it’s too harsh for the skin, visits the gym instead of playing sport, drinks in bars rather than pubs. But most importantly, he dreams of growing old with his wife and kids.
His ancestors can be traced back to the Beat poets — Allen Ginsberg, William Burroughs and their followers — who tried to retrieve for themselves the cavalier roles that had been consciously surrendered to women: of being beautiful and being loved.
In the post Calvin Klein world, the neutered male is being viewed both as a backlash to the rising breed of power women and the political events of the past few years. Marian Salzman says her research on the Future of Man for the premier communications group, Euro RSCG Worldwide, showed that men had been ‘neutered’ not just by the increasing presence of women in the workplace but by events like 9/11, the Iraq War and Private Jessica Lynch’s usurping of the traditional male battlefield. The survey throws up evidence on the ‘softening’ of the modern man.
• 76 per cent of the men (American and British) see themselves as ‘easy going’, 72 per cent as ‘caring’, 68 per cent as
‘open-minded’.
• In contrast, just 10 per cent describe themselves as dominant and just 3 per cent claim to be old fashioned ‘studs’.
• 80 per cent reject the idea of casual sex and prefer a committed relationship.
• Just 9 per cent would choose to be a football star and 7 per cent would opt to head a multinational company.
• The most common vice for the vast majority was an overdose of ‘passivity’.
No problem with that wimmin libbers, is there? The Beckham band may have killed the Marlboro Man, but for the 24x7 whirligig woman, the New Mutant Male is almost a dream-come-true: Caring, sensitive, open-minded and most importantly, monogamous. So what if he wears a sarong and paints his nails, Beckham style. He’s great to get home to and perfect to grow old with.
And who says he’s no achiever. Just sample our desi list of the Metrosexual brigade and you’ll know what we’re taking about: Shah Rukh Khan, Aamir Khan, Saif Ali Khan, Vivek Oberoi, Sachin Tendulkar, Anil Kumble, Rahul Dravid.... Nice guys.
Right guys. Non-muscular. Non-threatening. Politically correct.
Yes, the meek shall inherit the earth, trinkets and deos be damned. Why then does the Marlboro Man still throw us his wicked wink and make us weak-kneed and willowy? Can someone bend it better than Beckham?
(Erratica will be resumed next week)