Friend or foe?

Do you think friendship is all about unconditional loyalty and absolute support? Wrong. Healthy rivalry often dominates the equation
What you have is not as important as the way you got it: forget goodwill and equality when it comes to our friendships. Research has shown that when it comes to picking friends, we feel most comfortable in the company of people who we think are on the same level as us socially or even slightly below us.It doesn't matter if you are lucky enough to live in a family inherited home or are simply renting out a tiny apartment ��� as long as you believe you are better off than your friends and neighbours, it puts you in line for a more fulfilling life.
This new research might come as a shock to those of us who believe that such rivalry has no place in close friendships. But if most of us are completely honest with ourselves, we would realise that at some point or the other, we must have felt slightly threatened by a friend's success.
Even with the friendships that most of us have left behind, we often believe that the reason it happened was because you drifted apart. But the real reason could be that at some point, one of you could have felt a bit superior or inferior to the other. It could be a fantastic job or a set of great friends that could cause the insecurity. Even if we don't spell it out, chances are that most friendships have a lot going on below the surface.
Up, Close And Personal
As much as we may try to deny it, or pretend otherwise, most of us are easily impressed by a great job, a large bank account or a rising social status when it comes to picking a partner. Why do we think it's different when it comes to choosing friends as well? In both cases, we want people who are able to be there for us whenever we need them. In fact we tend to choose friends who reinforce our own self-worth. So, more often than not, the question that is running through our heads is, how can we choose a good friend, if we were not as good ourselves?
But it's not all about the outward trappings. Very often it is the emotional bit that is relevant. Even a small change can have a drastic impact. For instance, a woman losing vast amounts of weight may get not very complimentary feedback from close friends, no matter how fabulous she looks. She could be accused of being too thin or even arrogant suddenly. What has happened basically is that as her friendship status has gone up, she is forcing her friends to re-evaluate theirs.
The Bottom Line
If you find this new research completely depressing, cheer up. There are some friendships that go deeper than these superficial trappings. Long term relationships, where each partner has had a chance to experience the best and worst of each other, are able to withstand the superficiality test. This is probably the reason why celebrities always name a neighbour or school buddy when asked who their closest friends are. At the end of the day, each relationship differs from the other. And rivalry shows up in all relationships. All that matters is to what extent
Rival This!
Rajeev Paul ��� Actor
When you are younger, you tend to make lot of friends. But as you grow old, the number of friends gradually goes down and acquaintances increase.That���s when you realise that people who stick by you for your status and money are merely acquaintances. I have been fortunate enough to have friends who are happy when I have bagged an offer. If your friend is progressing, you must be happy for him/her.A friend can never be jealous.
Gauhar Khan ��� Model
Rivalry between friends is just not alright, because then you cannot be friends. You have to be happy for each other���s success and not be swayed by frivolaties like status and money. Friendship depends on the trust and happiness you place on each other.