40-plus comes out of the closet

PUNE: Sex, an activity which can ensure pole position for a couple or set it poles apart, is the second basic need of human beings -— the first being survival. Such words of wisdom flew from the mouth of sexologist, Shashank Samak, as he set out to clear the cobwebs around this beautiful world and usher in an erotic era in the city''s coupledom on Sunday.
The response to ''Sex after forties'', a seminar organised by Kama research institute of scientific sexuality and Rotary Club of Pune, Kothrud, at Tilak Smarak Mandir, was overwhelming, or shall we say, overflowing.
The auditorium witnessed an unprecedented gathering of 40-plus people, who were all over each other, just to peek into the most explored, yet mysterious world of sex. "This is a big leap for society," Samak said of the eager audience. "There was a time in the ''90s, when people had to be drawn to such seminars, but today, society''s outlook has changed and sex is no more a taboo," he said, even as people jostled with each other for space.
Shouts of "walk slowly, maintain discipline... avoid a stampede" echoed through the hall. All for a glimpse of the small screen the organisers had put up for a Power-Point presentation to drive home the importance of sex after 40.
Don''t jump to conclusions. If you thought that people could have come to watch some sleaze, you are wrong. The audience comprised a respectable lot from all sections of society and was all ears and eyes throughout the presentation.
"We never expected such a response," said president of Rotary Club Kothrud, Ravindra Kulkarni, whose crowd-management skills were tested to the hilt. "Although men jostled their way through, we learnt that around 50 women had to return home because of the rush," he said.
A proof of the audience''s interest and the seminar''s impact came, when a woman in her 40s approached Samant after the seminar, congratulating him for the "eyeopening" presentation. While a man in his 50s said, "I am sexually very active, but my wife isn''t. I used to feel guilty of being an ''imposer''. But not anymore. Now I know how to have sambhog (sex with both partners equally involved)."
Asked about the huge turnout, Samak said that, apart from the increasing awareness among people, pre-seminar ads mentioning a slide show could have done the trick. With today''s 40-plus woman becoming more demanding, every second man in the age group felt insecure, Samak said.
"With childbearing and the responsibility of rearing children carried out, women suddenly find themselves ''free'' in their forties and begin exploring themselves. The woman within, which is till then a mother, a caring wife, starts asserting herself and, enters the sex world."
"This is the time when a woman becomes more active and aggressive, a development most men fail take into their strides and, as such, fail to satisfy their women," he said.