Surviving widowhood: How women defy odds to rebuild their lives

PATNA: There was a time when widowhood was considered a curse and widows were forced to end their lives along with their husbands in what was known as the Sati Pratha. Widows today may not have to meet such a barbaric fate, but they continue to face social apathy and financial exclusion, apart from family pressure, with very little government support.
As per 2011 Census, there are around 4.4 crore widows in the country with a sizeable number in Bihar.Many courageous women in Patna, who were widowed at a young age, have defied such odds and managed to establish independent livelihoods to bring up their children, often with little support from their families.
Sanjana Singh was 35 when she lost her husband. A resident of Bailey Road, Sanjana was left virtually penniless after her husband died, leaving her and her daughter with no means of sustenance as he had sold off his medicine shop to pay off a debt.
“My husband leaving us in debt made the situation more miserable. We were penniless. I could not go out and work because it was against the wishes of my in-laws. I had to pay my daughter’s college fees and none of my family members helped. After months of arguments, I was finally able to step out and start a medical shop of my own.”
It took her nearly six months to set up the business, which helped her put her daughter through college. Now 45, Sanjana runs a medicine shop and is proud of her modest success in business as well as putting her life back on track.
Sacchi, who wanted to be identified with only her first name, has a similar tale to tell. This Lohia Nagar resident was just 31 when her husband passed away, leaving her with two kids to bring up.
“After the death of my husband, I got no financial support from my in-laws so I had to move to my parents’ house. I considered teaching at a private school initially, after which I started a boutique of my own,” says Sachhi, who now runs a couple of boutiques in the city.
Although public policy largely ignores the plight of women like Sanjana and Sachhi, the Bihar government has a modest pension scheme to support widows. Sri Raj Kumar, director of social welfare directorate, says, “Under the Lakshmi Bai Pension Yojana, widows above the age of 18 residing in Bihar and whose family income is less than Rs 60,000 are eligible to receive monthly pensions. Many widows who were financially unstable have benefitted from this scheme.”
For widows, economic independence is only half the battle won. Sanjana argues, “Balancing a household, motherhood, and career with widowhood is a complicated juggling act. But we are much more than widows; we are independent women.”
Coping with the hostility and indignity that society heaps on widows can be as damaging to one’s psyche as physical abuse, and widows in India face both. “The struggle doesn’t end with overcoming family pressure. She is treated like a social outcast, barred from participating in family events and is often denied property rights. Humiliation, harassment, loneliness, abandonment, there is nothing that a widow in India does not have to encounter,” says Sacchi.
Santosh Kumar, a psychiatrist at Nalanda Medical College and Hospital, deals with nearly 20 cases of widows suffering from depression every month. “Widows face financial pressure and lack of psycho-social support. This, along with lack of familial support, leads them to develop mental health issues. Widows are not only mentally tortured but many of them have also been physically tortured,” says Kumar.
While Sanjana and Sacchi had to take the tough road to establish themselves, several other widows who were lucky to have got their husbands’ business or jobs on compassionate grounds.
“My husband was a constable and I was offered his job. My husband gave his life for the country and I am proud to carry on his mantle. People say a woman is nothing after husband’s death, but that’s not true, women become stronger,” says a woman constable in Patna, wishing to remain anonymous.