Working mothers encounter homework blues

MUMBAI: Namita Sharma, a senior software engineer with a multinational company, is nervous about an upcoming interview with the principal of her three-year-old’s prospective school.
She and her husband have been holding mock sessions to rehearse the answers to possible questions. The question they dread most? ‘How can you give time to your child when both of you are working?’
Ms Sharma says this is the question that haunts most working couples, especially working mothers who are trying to get their kids into good schools.
“I have been trying out the right words for the perfect answer,’’ she says. “I recently went to an all-girls’ school where the principal asked me how much I earned. When I told her, she observed, ‘Is it worth leaving the child at day care for this sum of money?’’’.
Such comments would faze many parents. Thane resident Ranjani Venkatesan, for instance, did not even try to get her child into certain schools because they were particular about ‘non-working mothers’.
“I was, for once, scared of my working status,’’ confesses the young mother. School counsellors point out that the principal’s concern about ensuring parental participation in their children’s education is not without reason.
They say that many children of working parents are often not emotionally strong and need counselling to help them cope with their studies and loneliness at home. Given the fierce competition in the field of education, schools do not want to compromise on their students’ results.
According to school counsellor Anureet Sethi, “To acquire a good name, schools inadvertently put a lot of pressure on children for better results, which translates into more pressure on their parents.’’
Moreover, she adds, children of working parents have been known to face a degree of emotional deprivation in their home situation and often come infor counselling in their early years. That’s why working parents are always asked whether the child will be able to cope with his\her studies when both of them are at work.
Take, for instance, the taxing project work given to kindergarten students.
Says Ms Venkatesan, “My fouryear-old was given a mammoth project on underwater plants. Fortunately, I was on leave and could help him complete the project. But it wasn’t simple and I spent hours over-simplifying terms. It would have been impossible to contribute so much to my child’s project if I were not on leave.’’
Mothers of nursery students at another school were told to bring their children in Noddy fancy-dress for a school drama. The mothers were also told that all children should look alike.
“A bunch of super-moms spent a whole day scouting for the right red-and-blue costume,’’ narrates one mother, a housewife, adding that had she been working, she would certainly not have managed to dress her child suitably.
For many young women, however, a double income in an expensive city like Mumbai is a boon.Besides,most educated women find fulfilment in their workMany say they would be stifled if they had to stay home.
Gool Ghadiali, principal of New Era School at Gowalia Tank, says that schools are particular about the ‘quality time’ that parents spend with their children.
“You’d be interested to know that we appreciate working mothers because they often use their time-management skills more effectively than the nonworking ones. We have noticed that working parents spend their time with a child more constructively,’’ she adds.
(The names of the mothers have been changed to protect their identity.)