Mhada & Moolah

Mhada , the housing authority of the Maharashtra government, is involved in so many scams that it should probably be called the Maharashtra Hoax And Deceit Authority or some such. Housing activist Chandrashekhar Prabhu, who once headed the body, shared an anecdote about its brazen corruption at a recent public meeting held to protest against forced redevelopment in the city.Many years ago, while returning home late at night, Prabhu happened to cross a vacant Mhada plot and was amazed to find hutments being built there. Without revealing his identity, the Mhada president went up to the men and asked them why they were encroaching on government land. Replied one man, "Oh, we have all the permissions. We have paid off everyone in Mhada, right up to the top. We always build these huts in the middle of the night.''
A shocked Prabhu called the police , who, after a bit of sleuthing, identified the Mhada employee responsible for the encroachments. When Prabhu called him to give him his suspension letter, the man, far from being ashamed, had an answer ready. "Sir, I'm going to retire in another three months,'' he said, "and I haven't even completed the required target of 75 huts. I have got only 25 built so far.'' When a puzzled Prabhu asked him what that meant, he replied, "Once we retire, our earnings stop. So, many of us make money in this way just before retirement.'' We're speechless. Actually, no. This is Mhada , after all.
Rain Check
For marketers looking for opportunities to build their brands, every occasion, happy or tragic, is a fitting one. A few days ago, a corporate that manufactures door locks and cupboards , among other things, teamed up with a film production house to distribute raincoats to street children on July 26, the third anniversary of the killer downpour that submerged Mumbai in 2005. The corporate's rider : it planned to make the kids run from Juhu to Bandra sporting the rain gear imprinted with its logo. Partnering NGOs too seemed to have no qualms about the children sprinting this long distance in the torrential rain that was then sweeping the city. When we sent a message to the organisers , decrying their absurd plan, we got a reply-interspersed with embarrassed smileys-saying that they were only going to hand out raincoats to random passersby. We don't what they eventually did; what we do know is that the idea of milking a tragedy in which hundreds died (and not for want of a raincoat) left us with a bad taste in the mouth.
Whistle Blower
When our correspondent visited the clinic of Virar-based child specialist Hemant Joshi recently, the doctor told her after the interview that he had a gift for her. The journo replied, a little warily, that she did not accept gifts. The doc laughed and said that the gift wasn't anything elaborate , only a whistle.
Just as the puzzled scribe was trying to decode that one, he explained: a whistle and a knife are the two selfdefence implements he strongly believes every woman in Mumbai who works and travels late hours should carry-one to summon help when in distress and the other to stick into an attacker. It doesn't stop at philosophy: Dr Joshi presents a whistle and a knife to every woman who visits his clinic or joins his staff. Unfortunately he'd run out of knives, but our journo enjoyed blowing the whistle in office.
Smile, Don't Honk
The traffic police's sense of humour gets curiouser, but is most welcome. After the gem about 'Stop at Red and Go at Green-except when eating watermelon' comes this juicy bite. Drink + driving = Inviting trouble . So for 7 days no daroo-varoo , no bike-vike .' Keep it up, Baijal's Boyz... It cheers us up as we wait interminably for signals to change after having snailed our way through rainy slowdowns and security barriers . Full honks also for having learned the correct adjective: 'Drunk driving' , not the commonly used, 'drunken driving' .
Down Memory Lane
When our education reporter, who'd just finished writing about the SSC toppers of this year, moved on to an assignment on yesteryear's scholars , she discovered something amusing . The news reports this paper carried over a quarter of a century ago were more or less identical to the ones today-profiles of the toppers, questions about their favourite books, their hobbies, extra-curricular activities and, of course, the number of hours of study they put in everyday. If there was any difference, it was in the date (ancient history) and the colour of the paper (yellowing). The Times, they evidently aren't a-changing.
(Contributed by Sukhada Tatke, Bella Jaisinghani, Sandhya Nair, Bachi Karkaria and Anahita Mukherji . Compiled by Radha Rajadhyaksha)