West Bengal girl rebuked by parents for wearing ‘boy clothes’, leaves Lake Town home

KOLKATA: A girl, rebuked by parents for wearing ‘boys' clothes', allegedly left her home in Lake Town. This prompted a widespread police search and renewed focus on adolescent identity conflicts within families.

According to a complaint lodged at Lake Town Police Station, the minor went missing between 2 pm and 3.30 pm on Sunday. Her parents told the police that she left the house carrying a trolley bag, a school bag, and around Rs 15,000 in cash, raising concerns that the departure may have been premeditated. The girl's mother said tensions persisted for years over her daughter's preference for dressing and presenting herself in what the family described as ‘boys' clothes'.

"For the last few years, she was dressing like a boy. She cuts her hair short and speaks and behaves in a manner that we were not used to. We had objected earlier, but more recently we were trying to accept her. She was getting counselled, yet, after a minor argument she left," the mother said.

She added that this was the second such incident in less than a year. "She threatened several times to leave if we didn't accept her demands. Recently, she also expressed a desire to become a saint and was increasingly involved in religious activities," the mother said.

Investigators said the family has identified two friends with whom the teenager was last seen speaking before she went missing. Police are examining those leads as part of their efforts to trace her whereabouts.

"We are trying to track her phone and have circulated her photographs to nearby police stations," said an officer of Bidhannagar Police Commissionerate. Officers suspect she may have planned her escape in advance.

Experts say that such cases often reflect deeper psychological and social tensions during adolescence. Sreemoyee Tarafder, a consultant clinical psychologist, noted that identity formation intensifies during teenage years. "Adolescence is when identity begins to consolidate and individuals develop a sense of ownership over who they are. If a person feels that their assigned gender does not align with their internal sense of identity, it can create significant distress, often referred to as gender dysphoria," she said.

Rajarshi Neogi, a psychiatrist at RG Kar Medical College and Hospital, emphasised that such experiences are not pathological. "It is not a disease. The adolescent may be experiencing gender dysphoria. For parents, it can be unexpected and difficult, but the appropriate response is to seek professional help rather than resorting to reprimand. Identity cannot simply be changed—it may be suppressed, but it tends to resurface," he said.