Dear Mr Trudeau, how not to turn fashion diplomacy into a fashion disaster

A train wreck’ is one of the more polite terms Justin Trudeau’s official visit to India has been dubbed so far, for its lack of much official stuff getting done, his perceived support to certain groups, and the most severe diplomatic snub that we can register – denying him a Modi hug. But while all that could yet get fixed in the fickle world of politics, a bigger train wreck has been crashing towards us all at gaining speed, and someone has to do something about it. No offence, Mr Prime Minister, but what are those outfits?
If looking at the Trudeaus’ India photos makes you imagine they’re just about to break into an NRI wedding-esque ‘That’s the wayyy, mahi vey!’, you’re not alone. We have all been scratching our heads about how a gold and red sherwani is a smart outfit choice to meet Shah Rukh-in-a-black-suit, with the Trudeau family looking more and more like over-eager 'firang' guests at an Indian wedding with every photo-op. So before #TrudeauKaTrousseau becomes a legit hashtag, and assuming heads have rolled in their styling squad midway through the trip if they have taken any note of the bad press, here is our four-point guide on how not to take ‘dress as the Romans dress’ into costume territory. Watch and learn from the best, Monsieur Trudeau.

Wear a country’s designers, not their wedding designers
When aspiring to dress to impress your hosts, it is key to pay attention to ‘exactly how much to dress’. Also key – understanding the difference between ‘Indian touch’ and ‘Indian tsunami’.On her second visit to India, Michelle Obama owned the fashion police the moment she stepped onto the tarmac at IGI airport. Her tour wardrobe was chock full of Indian motifs, fabrics and influences – a smart mix of modern Indian designers. Kate Middleton too, won her watchful critics over with her light and airy, but still desi, picks of frocks. It’s about giving a subtle nod to the hosts’ culture, not screaming, ‘Just look what I found at the airport gift shop!’ And therein lies the secret of great diplomatic dressing – never to take fashion advice from Bollywood. Because when you arrive to meet them IRL, you’ll realise even Bollywood doesn’t dress that way unless they’re being paid to. Also, never take dressing tips from the weddings of expat Indian friends. Enough said.

Michelle Obama’s wardrobe had plenty of Indian influences on her India visit in 2015 (Getty Images)

Kate Middleton’s outfit choices were a subtle nod to Indian design when she visited in 2016 (L) and Justin Trudeau at an event where he met Bollywood biggies in Mumbai on Tuesday

Keep the ‘I love everything about you’ sentiment to one piece
Yes, it might be tough to distil all that into a single item, but a wink is often more powerful than a full on stare-fest. Just ask Priya Varrier. But we digress.
Take Narendra Modi and all the different headpieces he has worn while travelling through the country. The Prime Minister is known for choosing the traditional headgear of the state he’s visiting, and it’s now an eagerly-awaited photo-op. Or take how you have made global headlines with that most utilitarian of items Mr Trudeau – socks. Everytime your pant leg rises to reveal a pair of Chewbacca or rubber ducky socks at events such as the meeting of the world’s richest and most powerful, the press has raced to decipher what you’re hinting at, you invite monikers from ‘dapper’ to ‘rockstar’, and basically steal the show without having done much more than cross and uncross your legs. Our advice? Imagine if, at Davos, you had chosen to wear a rubber ducky suit to match your socks. Or a Chewbacca costume in New York. Picture the headlines. Then apply said technique to Indian wardrobe.

British Prime Minister

Theresa May

in Bengaluru in 2016

Justin Trudeau’s ‘rubber ducky’ socks at Davos. The Canadian PM likes to mix it with his socks, and famous pairs include a Chewbacca design

Narendra Modi’s traditional headpieces at his rallies are quite the statement

If you are dying to wear traditional, keep it simple
While the first rule has proven a safe yet wildly successful formula for its advocates, there is also the odd risk-taker who has deftly walked the native catwalk without stumbling. Enter Theresa May, a veteran of the ‘how to dress Indian without looking like a ridiculous tourist’ handbook. She has years of experience in the desi dress code while attending diaspora events in England, which she employed to full force when she visited a temple in Bengaluru clad in a sari. Granted, the sari was gold, but importantly, a dull, unblingey gold, with no other embellishments, thank god. Also note the absence of any accessories save a single gold bangle, a big step away for the queen of accessorising (here’s looking at you, Mrs Trudeau). So save the ‘trying to have it all’ for your life. Keep your outfit for a singular statement.

Theresa May dressed official for most of her India trip in 2016, making an exception to wear a sari at the Someshwara Temple in Bengaluru

If you must insist on playing dress up, stick to one – ONE – occasion
It is one thing to turn up for a photo-op dressed to the nines and surprise everyone with your powers of sourcing and carrying off traditional Indian costume. It is quite another to then turn up in said fashion at every photo-op, with outfit changes thrice a day. If anything, it makes one wonder how many suitcases you’re lugging along. Not to mention diluting the power of one great vacation picture with a flood of holiday albums of your entire family. ‘Me in what they’re calling a groom’s sherwani here’, ‘Us and the kids in kurtas’, ‘Now us and the kids in kurta-sari-lehengas’, ‘And then here’s one of us in the jewellery’... No one loves that on Facebook, no one loves it on their news. Do it once, do it well, even overdo it, if you must. Then get it out of your system.