This story is from March 20, 2019

In the wake of the Pollachi sex offense cases, experts say...

Beware of whom you befriend and share info with online
In the wake of the Pollachi sex offense cases, experts say...
Beware of whom you befriend and share info with online
The Pollachi rape and blackmail cases have left us shocked. It has also brought to light the very debatable question of why, and how, the social media leaves youngsters open to be preyed upon by sexual offenders and blackmailers. How do women and children secure themselves against such a fallout?
A Social media hazard
Social media can be used to lure and blackmail people.
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SN Ravichandran, member of Cyber Society of India, says, “The cardinal rule while using Facebook is — do not accept friend requests from strangers. There is no mechanism to find out whether what is written in an account is true or false. If you receive a friend request from an unknown person, try and figure out how genuine the profile is. Scroll through their timeline and find out more about him/her. You can also look at the communities he/she is part of. And if you both have mutual friends, seek their opinion on the person before accepting the request. That said, you also cannot completely trust all the information that’s out there on social media. My advice is to accept friend requests only from those who are closely related to you, like a friend or a family member you know very well. Even old school friends who send you requests after many years need to be screened carefully. You never know what kind of a person they have turned into! Go by your instincts.”
When you find that something’s fishy, decline the request. “If you decline a couple of times, perhaps the person will realise that you are not interested and will back off. In case he/she is persistent, block him/her. Accepting such profiles means compromising on one’s safety. People generally indulge in inane chats and use the information they have gotten from you to blackmail/ threaten you. The girls affected in the Pollachi cases were also befriended like that. You will unknowingly become an accessory to the crime,” he says.
Do not be addicted to the social media
Sociologist and academician N Thirugnanasambandam says that one of the prime reasons for falling into such traps is the addiction to mobile phones. “Ignorance of the society is the root cause of social evils. The current generation is so addicted to gadgets that they do not even take the time to talk to each other in the family. It’s really disturbing to know that even educated girls have fallen into the trap,” he says.

Thirugnanasambandam continues, “Youngsters need to understand the society they are living in. Society is a mix of good and bad people. Parents also need to take responsibility of their children. Families need to discuss every day what’s happening in each other’s lives. It’s seen that usually, in the society we live in, it’s difficult for women to speak up about sexual atrocities. And in the case of teenagers and youngsters, the mother has to be the first point of contact for the child in case of abuse. It’s up to the mother to build a strong relationship based on trust and friendship so that their daughters can open up to them without hesitating in case they unwittingly land in trouble.”
Seek professional help
Experts say that it’s imperative that victims seek professional help. “They go through a lot of trauma — emotional turmoil, inability to express their pain, a feeling of helplessness and shame, all clamour within them. The abuse can have psychological, physical and emotional impact. Victims can even go into depression. They lose confidence. And to top it all, if they do not feel comfortable enough to talk to their parents and seek help, it worsens the matter. In such a scenario, it’s better they go to someone who is non-judgmental, and that’s where professionals come in,” says psychiatrist B Ravishankar.
He adds, “Different people cope with such issues differently. While some may withdraw into themselves, others may go down the path of substance abuse, seeking solace. It’s therefore, essential that they be guided to move forward. It’s a tough time for parents too but they need to put aside their anger and anguish and lend support to their children. They need to talk to them without getting critical or judgmental.”
File a complaint
“When you are blackmailed or sexually harassed, immediately go to an all-women police station and lodge a complaint. If you are physically injured or have been attacked, go to a government hospital and get admitted. If you are an employee, reach out to your company’s HR head. You can also have your own lawyer, who can be present along with you and can legally intervene on your behalf,” says Ravichandran.
Women should be bold and speak up
“Women shouldn’t assume that they are at fault. As a society, we have conditioned women like that for many generations. That needs to change. But at the same time, there is no denying that women are vulnerable. You need to take precautions,” says Ravichandran.
In the meantime, NGOs and organisations in the city are coming together to spread awareness about such social evils. “The Pollachi rape case is an instance of ignorance of the evils of social media. Organisations from different walks of life should spread awareness on incidents like these by talking to students and teachers, who can pass on the information to more children. Once the elections get over, we will be holding a sensitisation programme about such instances for the police force as well,” says R Raveendran of Residents Awareness Association of Coimbatore (RAAC).
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