This story is from November 18, 2009

The not-so-obvious turn-ons for him!

CHARU AMAR / Nov 18, 2009, 00:00 IST

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Things about you that's not much explored, yet very much in action to sweep the earth off his feet.

Your pretty eyes, luscious lips, sensuous clothes and seductive moves might be the reasons good enough to turn-on your man. But, apart from these much-talked about physical turn-ons, there's a lot more in a woman that keeps a man's adrenaline pumping.
"Being sexy or a man-magnet isn't only about flaunting your physical appeal. Traits like a positive self esteem, body language and self confidence in a woman have a far more lasting effect on a man," explains Madhumati Singh, a psychiatrist.
So what is it about you that's not much explored yet very much in action to sweep the earth off his feet, lets' explore....
1. Independent woman

There was a time when a subdued, sophisticated and sweet girl left men swooning. A girl, who would ask for a man's assistance and in a way pamper his male ego, was adored. But, stereotypes are changing today. Men are falling for an independent gal who will not call him at the drop of a hat. 27-year-old Rahul Sabharwal, a Mumbai-based business man, confesses, "I love my girl when she doesn't seek my help for difficult tasks. She'll change a flat car tyre on her own; she'll receive the guests from the airport on her own. She's the multi-tasking queen who rocks equally at her workplace as well as the home. It's this combination of independence and tenderness that makes her irresistible."

Relationship expert, Arvinder Singh explains, "A woman engaging in challenging pursuits is a turn-on for men. So, being with a highly self-reliant woman, who doesn't expect a man's support at every step, is attractive for a modern man. It is also a sign that modern, urban couples are true companions, rather than in a domination-subordination relationship."
2. A guy's gal
He took you out to a poker night, but wasn't that suppose to be an all guys' night? Just spare him for a night so that he can be a guy and hang out with his male buddies guzzling beer and discussing the latest soccer game. Most guys love their space and they love those who respect their space. "My wife is quite cool when it comes to leaving me alone with my friends as she too her own gang to chill out with. Cultivating a healthy social life with members of your own sex is integral to nurturing a relationship," feels Anurag Verma, a Delhi-based insurance agent.
Arvinder explains, "How comfortable you are to leave your partner alone is a big teller in a relationship. It reveals the levels of trust and security you have in each other. Giving space to one another is a two-way street. Remember that being a man is also about having the sense that 'I'm in control of my life'. So, the woman who lets him bask in the glory of this power is definitely hot property for them."
3. Cool quotient
Be it a love for gizmos or a craze about cars and bikes, girls who are inclined towards so-called 'guy-things' are titillating for men. Sudhanshu Mehrotra, a doctor says, "I drool over my girl when she beats the pants off me every time we get hooked to our Playstation. And we know that there's more action lined up in bed post the video games!" Sumant Pandit, an engineer reveals, "It was our common craze for watching wrestling on TV that hooked me up with my gal. It took me no time to fall for her after a coffee-date where we talked about everything from stock market, F1 racing to our latest pin-up fantasies!"
Madhumati Singh, a psychiatrist explains this as the 'Buddy Syndrome', "Men get attracted to women who are somewhat like them or make an effort to be like their partners with common interests. It brings them to a level of commonality and confidence, which is a great boost to a relationship."
Love to say let��s go!
Apart from pretty eyes, luscious lips and seductive moves, are there any other aspects of a woman that attract a man?
4. Love to say let's-go!
Girls who are spontaneous are a turn-on for men. Go getters usually score highly with new age men who steer away from complicated lasses. Mohit Aggarwal says, "My girlfriend loves trying new things. Be it bungee jumping or out first sushi meal, she has never said 'no' to experimentation. I like her adventurous nature as I know that in bed too she'll be full of surprises and that's a huge thrill."
Madhumati explains, "The excitement of experimenting, the sense of adventure and the thrill of unfolding the unknown increases a man's testosterone levels. So a woman, who readily agrees to take a plunge with him, without even the slightest need of convincing, is the cherry on a cake. It makes him feel proud of the fact that you trust him and have no qualms about exploring new boundaries. But remember, being spontaneous doesn't call for going overboard. Every woman has the right to say 'NO'. The mantra is to strike a balance between your yearning for fun and making the ideal judgment."
5. Sucess story
Contrary to the age-old belief that men feel threatened if women ascend up the career ladder, today's men are open to celebrating their girl's success. "I am an artist, while my wife is a corporate head honcho. She's doing great and I'm proud of her, especially because I know I'm not cut out for the cut throat and competitive corporate world," shares an artist on conditions of anonymity. He further adds, "I love her all the more, when she comes home to be just my wife who's loving and caring, irrespective of the pay cheques both of us bring home."
Madhumati explains, "The word success doesn't boil down only to one's profession. There are many ways in which a modern woman tastes success. Being a perfect wife, mother or a teacher is no less a definition of success. So, a man will always be turned-on by a woman who is what he is not. If he is not professionally aggressive, he'll love a woman who takes the corporate world by storm and vice-versa. It's about compatibility and completing each other."
6. Low-maintenance babe
If you think that flaunting your branded bags and designer tags is a sure shot way to enter a man's heart, think again. What keeps a guy hooked is that you don't pretend to be a society girl, are low maintenance and also make him save, a trait lacking in most men. "I love my girl for the simple reason that she enjoys gorging on food with as much ease at a road side dhaba as much as she loves to dine at a 5-star. She's a no fuss and easy to get along with kinda gal and that's great for any man," quips Lokesh Manchanda, a marketing professional.
"Men are usually bad at saving, so girls who prompt them to save for the future steal the cake. Men prefer women who are happy being what they are, rather than playing the game of pretence to ape others. He loves you for the real you!" explains relationship expert, Sameer Parekh.
7. Total love & care
Yes, he loves you for you are independent. He loves you for sharing his common interests. He loves you for calling a spade a spade. But he loves you the most for the fact that you make him feel like a pampered kid. Rishi Sehgal adds, "My wife Radhika couldn't cook but that was never a concern for me. What attracted me to her was the way she cared for her family. The efforts that she made to take care of my mother and younger brother, along with taking care of her career was remarkable. When I proposed to her, I knew this was a correct decision I was making."
"Deep down every man loves being mothered by his girl. No matter how independent she is the fact that she will be available for him and his family unconditionally makes her desirable. Add to this, a practicality and intelligence and the combo is just perfect," explains Arvinder.
Apart from pretty eyes, luscious lips and seductive moves, are there any other aspects of a woman that attract a man?
charu.amar@indiatimes.co.in

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