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This story is from January 10, 2006
Age no bar: More women prefer older men
Back when Lost in Translation became everyone's favourite movie, there was much debate as to where its charm lay.
Back when Lost in Translation became everyone's favourite movie, there was much debate as to where its charm lay. Was it in the jet-lag limbo? The chemistry between Scarlett Johansson and Bill Murray? In the end, it had to be the new spin on an old theme the older-man, younger-woman relationship.
Watching the two characters fall in love, it occurred to you that maybe there is no more perfect pairing than the young girl with potential and the man with the experience, patience and tenderness to nurture that.
This month, another film, Shopgirl, focuses on the older-man, younger-woman (OMYW) thing: He (Steve Martin) is the sugar daddy, she (Claire Danes) the toy girl. He brings her designer dresses and rescues her from her starter flat and a geeky young suitor.
Only it's a one-sided relationship, because he can't give her the things she really needs commitment, intimacy, love. In Lost in Translation, we want the girl to ditch her neglectful boy husband for the real thing; in Shopgirl, the real thing is probably the boy. The question is, which of the two scenarios is closer to reality?
Otherwise, we assume some dysfunctional father complex on the part of the woman. Wherever there's an OMYW deal, there is the lingering suspicion of inappropriate lust, power politics or unresolved emotional issues.
On the other hand, women in their early twenties date men in their forties and, when you stop to analyse it, there's a lot to be said for not choosing a contemporary as a partner. As Johansson observed: "Men never really come good until their thirties." Or, as a girlfriend recently put it:
"It's nice being with a boyfriend who has finally finished sodding about." Women mature a lot faster than men and, if you fancy skipping the Special Brew years and going straight to the sorted ones, the older man could be your answer.
Watching the two characters fall in love, it occurred to you that maybe there is no more perfect pairing than the young girl with potential and the man with the experience, patience and tenderness to nurture that.
This month, another film, Shopgirl, focuses on the older-man, younger-woman (OMYW) thing: He (Steve Martin) is the sugar daddy, she (Claire Danes) the toy girl. He brings her designer dresses and rescues her from her starter flat and a geeky young suitor.
Only it's a one-sided relationship, because he can't give her the things she really needs commitment, intimacy, love. In Lost in Translation, we want the girl to ditch her neglectful boy husband for the real thing; in Shopgirl, the real thing is probably the boy. The question is, which of the two scenarios is closer to reality?
...As a rule, we tend to distrust the OMYW relationship. Rightly or wrongly, we associate love across the generations with either the male midlife crisis (Charles Dance and Sophia Myles, anyone?) or female ambition (so sue me, Catherine).
Otherwise, we assume some dysfunctional father complex on the part of the woman. Wherever there's an OMYW deal, there is the lingering suspicion of inappropriate lust, power politics or unresolved emotional issues.
On the other hand, women in their early twenties date men in their forties and, when you stop to analyse it, there's a lot to be said for not choosing a contemporary as a partner. As Johansson observed: "Men never really come good until their thirties." Or, as a girlfriend recently put it:
"It's nice being with a boyfriend who has finally finished sodding about." Women mature a lot faster than men and, if you fancy skipping the Special Brew years and going straight to the sorted ones, the older man could be your answer.
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