Hima Shankar: I never compromised on my views or joined gangs to stay inside Bigg Boss

A happy and rejuvenated Hima Shankar has returned to her life after being inside Bigg Boss Malayalam House for 21 days. However, the theatre artiste, known for her bold and strong opinions, is a bit upset that her fellow contestants and even viewers found her fake on screen. “I cannot always be what others have imagined me to be. There is a child in me and I had to do justice to her,” she explains.
Was Hima given less screen space in Bigg Boss Malayalam? Was she not able to reveal her real character to the audience? The actress introspects on her life inside Bigg Boss House and her future plans…
How is it being back to the normal world?
I did not find much of a difference.It might be because I have been living an independent life even otherwise and also, I love to go with the flow wherever I am. I did not feel like I am locked in nor did I feel that I have returned to reality now. It is true that I missed a few close people, but I tried to find happiness there and focus on the issues. I missed my phone as well. The point where I felt upset was when I stepped outside the house and sat alone for a while. I was then in a space which was neither inside nor outside. That’s when the channel turned the camera on me, and I spoke to the world after a while.
How was the whole Bigg Boss experience?
It was good. I lived my life in my space as who I am. I never wanted to be part of any group just for the sake of staying inside. If I do that, once Bigg Boss Malayalam is over, the real Hima will cease to exist. And I will be a failure. Once I found that people are forming groups for the sake of votes, I decided to stand by myself.
So, are people constantly plotting games and making plans to win the title?
Kind of. When Lalettan (Mohanlal) supported Shwetha Menon, a group evolved against her. The groups evolve in seconds. I am someone who does things only if I am convinced, hence I couldn’t ever be part of such gangs. I never compromised on my views. There were two gangs and then minor gangs as well. But the interesting factor is that they can break any time depending on the mood of the show. Everybody wants to win. How can friendships evolve when there is competition everywhere?
Renjini will be a good friend of mine outside Bigg Boss Malayalam. I have a good rapport with Pearle Maaney and Adithi. Though Sabu and I kept fighting always, I would like to believe that we are similar even when we fight. I had not spoken to Sureshettan for three to four days.
What was the ‘massage controversy’ about?
I know a little bit about massages. I had done massages for some people in the house. During a court session, the punishment I got was to massage 14 people in the house to win their affection. The punishment was based on a complaint that I was talking too much.
So I was going after everyone, massaging all within a night. It was exhausting and a few had even slept while I was massaging. There were four more left to do. When I went to massage Shiyas, he said he is going to take a bath and asked me if I can do an oil massage for him. I said yes, and did so. Sabu saw it and told Shiyas that he will never get a bride in this life. I shouted at him for that mean comment. There was a lot of moral policing over it and eventually it came out that I massaged a half-naked Shiyas.
What I am upset about is that Bigg Boss showed only the massage that I did for Shiyas, not for the rest. I felt it was not just to me. However, when I presented it in the court, Sabu got just a small punishment, to draw the Malayalam letter ‘ksha’ with his nose.
What do you feel about the entire concept of Bigg Boss?
I felt it is a platform to evolve. However, it isn’t fair to just air the fight sequences and not give everybody enough screen space. I think I received very little screen space. It was only this week that I was given a bit of space on the content broadcast, I think, though the strongest contestants Shwetha and Renjini revealed during the eviction episode that on the first day itself, they had considered me as a threat.
Why do you think they found you as a threat?
In the house I was someone who had strong opinions, who never wanted to be part of any group. I think they understood that eventually, I will have a say in the house.
There was a common notion that you were not the real you as the outspoken Hima was trying to be diplomatic by staying quiet.
Never. I have been speaking out from day one, but it wasn’t aired. I have strongly opposed Sabu’s behaviour, for instance. However, I have always tried to maintain relationships as it isn’t a professional space but a home where we are supposed to live together for three months. I have always tried to resolve issues.
The basic idea of it is to be nice to all so that they will not vote against you during eviction. But I never wanted to stay inside by compromising on my opinions and being nice to all.
Also, I am like a free bird at my own home, who gets pissed off even when my mom intrudes into my space. I dance before the mirror and sing whenever I feel like it. This side of me is known only to very few. I have the freedom to do so, because it is my home and she is my mother. So, when I am asked to live in a house for three months, I can’t be the serious, outspoken Hima, but the me without the masks. All artistes will have a child inside and only then can she or he explore and evolve. I am an artiste not an activist.
But you said sorry to Sabu, despite all the insults?
What I said was, ‘I pardon you, you too pardon me’. I said so because Sabu refused to even look at me after the massage incident. I felt awkward as we are living in the same house and also, we have to meet each other outside the house as we work in the same field. The court scene was a game and I wonder why he was taking things seriously. I don’t think we should ever keep permanent grudges in life. People in Bigg Boss and the viewers should understand that it is all part of the performance.
What next?
People felt strongly that I shouldn’t have been the one to be evicted. Bigg Boss is being questioned. I don’t think the show is partial or has manipulated things, but I have felt that I was given less screen space. I wish Bigg Boss will call me back and give justice to me as a person. If people must understand me, they should know my childhood. I was never given a chance to talk about it. I desire to return. If people feel that I am eligible for a re-entry, I hope to go back.