From miscarriage to IVF failure and bleeding during first trimester: Smriti Khanna shares anxious details from second pregnancy

Actress and lifestyle influencer Smriti Khanna and husband Gautam Gupta are expecting their second baby. The couple recently took to social media to make the happy announcement and posted some adorable pictures. However, it hasn’t been an easy journey for Smriti. From going through miscarriage, bleeding in first trimester, Smriti spoke about her years of struggles and challenges she faced to get pregnant the second time.

I have completed 4 months and entering 5 month. This is a very crucial part of my life. People think that my life is perfect seeing my pictures on Instagram. Of course I click pictures when I look good and capture the happy moments. Why will I put up crying videos? You can imagine everyone having a picture perfect life by social media. But I do have a blessed life despite all the struggles. I had made peace with myself that even if I don’t have a second baby it’s ok. But we had almost given up.

Most parents when they go for a second baby, they do it for the first baby. First baby you do for yourself, the second you do so that your baby has a sibling. I am not saying everyone thinks like that, but our thought process was that. We all have a limited life. This was our dream together to have a family of 4.

After Anayka we wanted lesser gap for the second baby. We kept trying and it didn’t happen. The first pregnancy was so smooth for me. I thought second will also be like that. When Anayka was 1 and half years old, I conceived my second child but I miscarried. It could be mental reasons also because my mom was going through cancer treatment. Two months before she passed away, I miscarried. It was a tough phase for me. Then I became a bit fearful and told Gautam I need time. Almost after a year, I conceived again. That was a chemical pregnancy (a very early miscarriage that happens within the first five weeks of pregnancy). After that, I became very fearful. Anayka was 2 and half years old. I felt I couldn’t go through the mental trauma.

Then we decided to go for IVF. The IVF journey was quite pathetic for me. Nothing against it, I mean it’s a blessing for people but it’s a very tough journey. Respect to all the mothers because our body goes through so much. You need to take injections everyday. Gautam also used to give me those injections on my stomach because you need to take them everyday at the same time. All those injections aside, the major problem is your hormones are up and down and your mood swings are all over. We tried for months with the process but it didn’t happen. My eggs were retrieved but they couldn’t give me the confidence that I will get pregnant. They told me I can have a miscarriage again.

I also felt it was my mistake to opt for IVF because that’s like when you can’t conceive. And it wasn’t like I couldn’t conceive naturally. Because even after IVF you can go through miscarriage. So that was like a giving up stage. We also thought of surrogacy but that’s not allowed. Then one fine day I told Gautam that let’s try normally. And then it finally happened for us.

But again it wasn’t smooth. Just when I conceived, they gave me some tests to do. When the results were out, I found out mujhe bimaari hai. I have autoimmune disorder – Hashimoto. I never heard of it. They are not curable and the quality of your life goes down a little. So you have to have an extra healthy lifestyle. And mine is in third stage. If you have autoimmune disease, the first thing it does is attack your womb if you pregnant. Hashimoto attacks your thyroid. So I am on medications, steroids and what not. I was really sick in the first 3 months of my pregnancy.

Many people commented that I have put on weight and all, my face is looking puffed. But that’s majorly because of steroids. You feel hungry all the time. You can’t control. For a person like me, who eats healthy and does intermittent fasting, it was difficult. I couldn’t stop eating and I was also puking alongside.

In between, we also had to attend a wedding – Rakul and Jackky’s wedding. 5-6 days prior to that, I started bleeding and rushed to the hospital. I actually thought I have miscarried. They checked everything is fine but I was somehow bleeding. I was put on bed rest for 3-4 days. Was also told not to take shower because that would require me to stand. I couldn’t even take Anayka. I attended the wedding and was feeling better.