From being fat-shamed during her first show to feeling insecure about her looks, Rubina Dilaik reflects on how she broke the pattern of trying to appear a certain way

From being fat-shamed during her first show to feeling insecure about her looks, Rubina Dilaik reflects on how she broke the pattern of trying to appear a certain way in her latest vlog. With refreshing honesty, she opens up about the pressures she faced, her shifting self-image, and how she now embraces her natural beauty and self-worth.

“I wanted a size zero. I wanted my hair in a certain way. I wanted my brow lifted. I wanted my lips fuller. Everything vanished,” Rubina admitted, reflecting on the phase where she constantly tried to match others’ beauty standards. "Whenever I tried to match my beauty to someone else's, I have miserably failed. I have looked the ugliest also." She emphasized that this wasn’t self-pity but acceptance of a painful truth. “And I do not regret saying it on camera,” she asserted. Her desire to fit in led to personal dissatisfaction and loss of her natural essence.

“When I stopped giving a damn and I started accepting myself, nothing bothers me,” Rubina stated with clarity. She explained that her transformation came from inside. "The confidence from within, it just radiates everything." She described her past as a constant cycle of self-doubt and efforts to win external approval. Now, she embraces self-worth. "When you accept yourself, the world’s opinion loses its grip over you. I’ve started dressing up for myself, not for others. That’s when you begin to feel truly beautiful."

Rubina revealed how she started taking care of her face naturally. “Toh maine face yoga karna shuru kar diya hai. Aur mujhe mahina ho gaya face yoga karte hain,” she said. While browsing a video recently, she saw comments that implied she had undergone surgery. “Somebody pinned me in the comment — Jab se maa bani hai, tab se isko samajh nahi aaya, surgery kahaan ja rahi hai.” Her reaction? Pure joy. “Trust me, I was so happy. Maine ka, jo face yoga kar rahi hoon, they think it’s surgery! But yeh kamaal hai.”

“I have always felt insecure with how I looked,” Rubina admitted. “Overcoming this insecurity took a long, long time.” Even after becoming part of the entertainment industry, she carried internalized beauty standards. “There were always certain standards of looking beautiful, and I kept thinking — no, a little wider eyes, that looks better,” she said. “I have dismissed myself for the longest time. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t relate to that confidence level.” But she shared how that changed: “When the change came from within, suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. Beauty became a tool, not a burden.”

“I was called chubby,” Rubina recalled. “I used to think about it all day—baby fat here, a little fat there.” She shared a painful memory from her first show: “The director yelled from behind the camera — ‘Yeh seb ki beti kahaan se lekar aaye ho? Wapas bhejo Himachal mein. Isko na chalna aata hai, aur dikhti bhi gol motol hai.’” That moment stuck with her. “It stains your memory,” she said. The experience deeply impacted her, prompting a strict regime. “It was my first show. They screamed about how I looked — it broke me inside.”

“That phase… when I look back, I ask myself—what was I thinking?” Rubina said, recounting how she became obsessed with weight loss. “I went on boiled spinach soup and Nutris for one complete year. I pledged to myself—I’m going to get to size zero.” She succeeded, but the result was disturbing. “I looked so sick and pale. My energies were so down.” She wished for a different lesson then. “I wish somebody taught me how to embrace myself. I was 19, 20 jab main aayi thi — pahadon se ghee, doodh, dahi khakar aayi thi.”

“One of the producers once told me — ‘Tumhara face bada negative lagta hai, tumko negative roles karne chahiye. Aur thoda wazan ghata lo, phir shayad tumhe better roles mil jayenge,’” Rubina shared. She took it deeply to heart. “I was like, yes, I will prove him wrong.” The remark became a motivator and a wound. “Main heroine ke roles karungi. Main apna wazan bhi ghata sakti hoon. Aur main ek certain way bhi dikh sakti hoon.” But she admitted the journey was painful. “That mindset stayed. It was a constant effort to earn acceptance by changing myself.”

“It was a blessing in disguise,” Rubina said of her painful journey. “But it was tough, and it did play havoc on my psychology.” She shared how it affected her relationships: “You start attracting people, incidents, and dynamics that validate the thought that you’re not enough.” Today, she believes in healing from within. “I don’t want their validation. I don’t want to set myself up for rejection anymore. I’ve chosen to feel complete in myself. And that psychology just reflects. It’s no longer about looking a certain way. It’s about feeling enough.”