Powerpuff Girls

Influential women have unconventional formulas for success, reports Bachi KarkariaBernard Shaw scoffed, “Women declared, ‘We will not be dictated to’ — and then became stenographers.” I’m forced to agree with that old cynic every time I find women declaring their independence by doing exactly the same things they abhor in men. Like hiring male strippers for a wild ‘night out with the girls’.However it was stereotypes not jock straps that were pulled down at a panel discussion on the first day of the recent ‘Women Deliver’ conference in Washington, DC. The UN Secretary General, Ban Ki-moon, inaugurated it; and over a box lunch we had listened rapt to Melinda Gates recalling her moving encounter with Rukmini, as this UP villager invoked the sun god’s blessings for her seven-day-old Durga. Then followed the panel I’d been waiting for. Five powerful women were to talk of their own experiences in how to get power, how to keep it and what to do with it.Five Powerful WomenThey were Michelle Bachelet, the former President of Chile and the first Latin woman to head a government; Helen Clark, elected President of New Zealand for three successive terms and now the first woman administrator of the United Nations Development Program; Valerie Garrett, Advisor to President Obama on Public Engagement and Inter-governmental Affairs; the Hollywood star Ashley Judd, who has done such exemplary work for HIV-AIDS and now Populations Services International and the moderator, Arianna Huffington, co-founder of the hugely successful blog, the Huffington Post. I had expected sharp-suited business mantras on breaking through glass ceilings with a masculine fist, and manfully striding into the corner office.Instead, these hard-nosed achievers openly advocated the touchy-feely avatar. As Judd put it, “Power is only as good as how you use it to enhance the values you hold dear.” With her feet tucked under her on the armchair, the actress quoted her grandmother, “What comes from the head, often goes over the head; but what comes from the heart goes straight to the heart.” Notice had been served: the p word is subservient to the h word.Hillary Clinton wrote the tribute when Time put Michelle Bachelet on its 100 most influential people in the world in 2008. She told her DC audience, “I went into politics because I wanted people to be happy, to be free from their anxieties.”For Obama Advisor Valerie Garrett, the path to happiness is paved with friends. “Find that circle; hold them tight. Find out what’s going on in their lives. Have lunch with them, exercise with them.” The former Chilean President added, “You need someone who will tell you the truth so that you come up with the right solutions.”Inner SatisfactionGarrett offered three lodestars for inner satisfaction. Ask for what you deserve; demand the respect to do what’s important in your life; learn to shrug away resentments. She recalled how, as Deputy Counsel for Finance and Development in the Chicago Mayor’s office, at a meeting, her mind kept wandering to her daughter’s Halloween Parade a block away. Sensing her distractedness, the Mayor asked, “Would you rather be somewhere else?” She summoned the courage to say ‘yes’ for something so personal, and ‘small’ compared to the major civic issues being discussed. “You can have it all,” she assured us, adding, “provided you don’t want it all at the same time. I couldn’t have taken on public office when I was raising Laura.” On point three, she said, “Look at men. They just let stuff roll over them, and not get all worked up about everything.”Arianna Huffington added another dimension to this ancient ‘Let go’ wisdom. She said, “We should not take everything personally. Most often, when people say something to you, it’s actually about themselves. Jackie Onassis once told one of her nephews, ‘When people kept coming up to me and talking about JFK’s assassination, I began to realise that I was incidental; they simply wanted to re-live their own memories of that terrible day’.” As for resentment, “It’s like drinking poison, and waiting for the other party to die.”Moving OnJudd endorsed this with “The ability to move on is an energising and empowering way to get on with our lives.” Then, in keeping with her nurtured New Age persona, she said, “I can make a mistake and not be the mistake.” Adding, “No one can love you if you don’t love yourself. If you don’t believe in yourself, who’s going to believe in you?” Self care is not only acceptable, it is imperative. ‘Get balance in your life. Eat wisely; take care of your body. And maintain a life outside your job. Otherwise you’ll be absolutely boring.’ All this is good, straight advice. It comes from the mistresses of the universe. Take it.