The third place to be

The third-place syndrome is a well-recognized one. A sociological behaviour pattern across societies and across the ages that defines it all succinctly. It simply says that man thrives in three kinds of places. The first place is normally the home. The place he really belongs. With family. Mostly related by blood. The umbilical place in many ways.
The second place is the place he is forced to go to in a bid to get on in life and contribute to society at large.In the case of a child, it is the school, an older child it is the college and an even older child it is the office or place of work.
The third place is then a very different place. It is that one place that is not home and not work. It is a place your umbilical expectations are nil and so is the expectation of the peer group that is forever watching you at work. The third place is the place you let down your hair and be yourself. It is that one place where you are normally yourself. This then is the hangout.
Theory and our own life says it all. We are really not ourselves when at home. We wear masks. We are really not ourselves when at work, as these masks deepen in their imperviousness. The only place we are really ourselves is the third place. The hangout.
The hangout is therefore a very important place to keep society and its peoples safe and sane. The hangout is the place where you chill. The place you unwind. This need not be with a drink at all, as if oft mistaken. It could be with a book in the library. It could be under the trees in Lalbagh. It could be a caf��, a pub, a theatre, a beauty parlour of choice, a spa, a gym. Whatever.
1984 to 2009. How have the hangouts of the young changed? From then to now? Let me take a time-slot wise peek into my youth and the youth of today. A 19-year-old boy in 1984 to a 19-year-old today.
The Morning hangout
The Monday morning blues would hit a host of us. If it was a Monday morning, in many cases it had to be a morning show at Sangeet in Shivajinagar. The ride there on the many bikes, the standing in the queue for a movie with many of our kind, the roasted groundnuts doled out in conical newspaper screw-packs, the dirty seats, the hooting in the theatre and rats scurrying around was a hangout experience on its own.
Today then is about what we marketing people call a 'mall-rat phenomena'. It is about hanging out at a mall, either outside or inside. Watching people walk in and out. Admire the attire and the colour all around. Malls today do have a tough time discouraging the college couple 'coochie-cooing' away on their ramparts. The morning hangout has changed.
The late-afternoon hangout
It had to be a Sreeraj Lassi Bar on St Marks's Road. It was called a bar, but it was anything but that. A stand-up and drink-up kind of joint. Great lassis, delightful mango juices in the summer months and the elaichi kulfis that came for Rs 2 on a long stick. One would just hang around and do all the things one is meant to do while just hanging out. The cycle, the Vespa scooter or the motorcycle alike were integral parts of this hangout as one would sit on them and sip away at the mango juice or lick away at the tall kulfi delight.
Today then is about the local Caf�� Coffee Day if you are in for a macro-caf�� experience or the cute little Flava Caf�� on Hayes Road if you are in the mood for a tucked-away micro-caf�� experience. This is a sit-down experience. The same hangout phenomena is at play though.
Research tells you that only 16% of the people spotted in a caf�� are there for the coffee. The rest are there for the experience at large. The ambience, the sit-down value, the music, the smell, the people all around (boys and girls included), the very many clothes and fashions that define such spaces, and more.
The evening hangout
This was all about rava idli and coffee at Airlines Hotel near Hajees Petrol Pump. With friends and extended relationships that at times included those lucky ones who had a girlfriend to boot. The ratio of young-relationships were somehow very much lower than it is today. Fewer boys had girlfriends of the committed-relationship kind than today.
This was about hanging out with friends wherever. On the road, at the street-corner, at the library and just talking. One spoke a lot more.
Today then is about the virtual hangout. The young are a generation of 'screenagers'. The screen of every kind is a passion. Screens linked to the world wide web are a hit. An integral part of the hangout phenomena at play.
The youth hangout of today is therefore not right round the corner. Instead, it is somewhere in the whole wide world. At times, one does not even know where. It is Facebook for many. It is a Twitter. It is a LinkedIn to the serious. It is U-Tube to many. It is LimeWire to others. The young flit from one to the other effortlessly. The youth of today is the best multi-tasker there is. Their screenager hangout experiences are varied and deep. By the age of 25, the young have been through 20,000-plus text messages, 300 hours of U-tube, 18,000-plus emails, 250-plus blogs, and hundreds of downloads of every kind that offer the myriad experiences of a confused and confusing world at large.
The Night-hangout
For most of us who were 19 in 1984, it was a place called home. There was a rule that the young were not to venture out. Never mind whether you were boy or girl, you stayed indoors. It was about colour television that had just made inroads into our homes. It was about teleserials that grabbed the nation's attention ever since. It was about Humlog and Baseshar Ram and Dadamoni and more.
Today then is about the very many pubs that dot the city, the many discotheques that let the young spirit party on into an early night that closes at 11.30 pm. It is about cine multi-plexes that charge you all of Rs 250 for a movie and Rs 60 for a pack of caramel popcorn. It is about a late night snack of chicken kebab and ghee rice at Empire. Remember, how late does not matter. The sun never sets on this Empire! The times have changed. The hangouts have. They must. Cheers to that!
(The author is a brand specialist)