Think you’re ready for love? Science suggests asking your friends

Most of us agree that “a friend is like a mirror.” They often see what we miss, especially when it comes to relationships. Turns out, there might be some scientific evidence to that as well.

Whether you feel you are ready for a commitment or a new relationship, seeking advice from your friends may be a good idea. Look, if they agree that you are ready. A study by researchers at Michigan State University found that friends can often tell who is truly prepared for a committed relationship. The findings are published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships.

Your friend may have a point

If your friend disagrees with you on whether or not you are ready for commitment, it may be worth listening to them. Why? Because your friend really knows you. At least that’s what the researchers found. They found that friends who were perceived to be less ready for a committed relationship were also seen to be more insecure in their relationships. People with insecure relationships have elevated levels of anxiety and/or avoidance.

To understand the impact of friends here, the researchers collected data from nearly 800 people embedded in friend groups. The participants reported on their own readiness for relationships. They were also asked about their friends’ readiness, and their friends’ attachment styles.

“Friendships affect so many parts of our life — not just our health and happiness, but also our romantic prospects. Friends can constrain or facilitate who we date. They can also help our romantic relationships flourish or subtly and not-so-subtly undermine them. Judgments of readiness likely explain all sorts of reasons why friends help and hurt our chances of finding love,” William Chopik, an associate professor in MSU’s Department of Psychology and co-author of the study.

The findings of this study also offer fresh insights into young adults navigating romance.

“Friends play a key role in forming and maintaining romantic relationships, from introductions to advice. However, there is rarely a chance to know how they perceive us. I hope this study offers a holistic understanding of commitment readiness from a social network perspective, while emphasizing the vital role of friends in pursuing, developing, and maintaining romantic relationships,” added Hyewon Yang, a psychology doctoral candidate at MSU.

So, the next time your friends tell you that you are not ready, maybe think about it.