Heartbroken but hopeful? ‘Delulu dating’ is the internet’s newest love trend

You have been ghosted, benched, and breadcrumbed. Even worse, left on read. You cried to sad playlists on Spotify and swore off dating apps. You told yourself you are done—done with creating fake Instagram accounts to stalk, done with sending messages every other minute to check if he/she/they unblocked you. Done with the drama, the wailing, and the waiting. Now it’s a solo journey.

And then, on a Thursday night, you get a notification: a new match. Without a thought, you jump on it, and before you know it, you are whispering sweet little things in each other’s ears. This, in the language of the internet, is being delulu—perhaps the bravest thing you’ll ever do.

What is delulu dating?

Another day, another moniker. “Delulu” is short for “deluluship,” and this kind of dating is pretty much self-explanatory. You hope for the best, even when the signs may say otherwise. Though Gen Z may use this phrase humorously—especially in the early stages of a relationship—no, dating.

The term delulu traces back to 2014, when the K-pop fan community came up with their motto: delulu is the solulu. In the context of dating, it is a rather conscious choice to be optimistic about a relationship even when the past, present, and future frankly look terrible. It may not necessarily be the right kind of optimism. It is optimism that has been put through the wringer and still refuses to be wrung out. Delulu dating may be a combination of many dating trends. Think situationships, ignored red flags, donned rose-tinted glasses, and yet wearing the armor to find “the one.”

How to navigate delulu dating

Millennials, you can stop reading now, because this certainly is not your cup of tea. While staying optimistic even when things go south—especially after heartbreaks—may sound hopeful, there is no promise of light at the end of this tunnel. But if you are the kind of person who loves to see where life takes you, follow along as we dissect this dating trend and look at its pros and cons.

Delulu dating is certainly a ray of sunshine after failed romances. It’s always better to have something to hope for. Never say never. This trend leans toward positive thinking and self-belief. Yay for those who believe in the Lucky Girl Syndrome. Hope is said to change behavior. A person who genuinely believes they are capable of a good relationship starts to engage differently. They are more present, more open, and less guarded, which may make the connection more genuine. It also teaches you never to give up. When one door closes, another opens. A failed relationship is not the end of your romantic era.

On the other hand, delulu dating may also lead you to ignore red flags, chase people who have made their disinterest clear, or mistake the thrill of an unavailable person for the real thing. You may tend to overinterpret normal gestures, leading to further disappointment. It has its own shortcomings. So, if you are a do-or-die person, go for it. If it doesn’t tickle your fancy, skip it—but keep swiping right. Life is too short to dwell on one failed romance, or even multiple.