Are situationships hurting your mental health?

In today’s dating culture, many people find themselves in ambiguous relationships - connections that feel like love but come without commitment. These arrangements often leave one or both partners confused, frustrated, and emotionally drained. Divya Mohindroo, Counselling Psychologist and Founder Embrace Imperfections shares how situationships hit one mentally.

Ambiguous connections give you relationship-like experiences without clarity. Common signs include:

•No clear labels: “We’re just talking.”

•Mixed signals: sometimes close, sometimes distant

•No future plans or shared goals

•One-sided effort

•Physical intimacy outweighs emotional bonding

Committed relationships, by contrast, are defined by:

•Clear understanding and mutual agreement

•Consistency between words and actions

•Shared future plans and goals

•Emotional security and feeling valued

•Balanced effort from both partners

•Loyalty, accountability, and both emotional and physical bonding

Reading between the lines

Here are some common examples of messages from someone avoiding commitment:

•“Can’t plan tomorrow; let’s be spontaneous.” → Casual, non-committal plans

•“I’ve had so much fun; I hope it works between us.” → Deflecting commitment

•“What are you doing this weekend? We’ll meet soon!” → Keeping it vague

•“I miss you…” → Breadcrumbing - keeping you hooked without clarity

Ask yourself:

•Are you unsure if you’re exclusive?

•Does he only make last-minute plans?

•Haven’t you met his friends after months?

•Calls you “babe” but never “girlfriend”?

•Is physical intimacy happening, but not real dates?

•Do you feel like you’re auditioning for love?

If you answered “yes” to several of these, you may be in a relationship limbo.

These undefined connections are like emotional junk food: they taste like closeness but leave you hungry for real love. They keep you stuck in “almost” - almost love, almost commitment, almost peace. Mixed signals aren’t chemistry, they’re confusion disguised as intimacy.

True love is clear, consistent, and secure. It doesn’t make you question your worth - it feels like home, not a puzzle to solve.

In such arrangements, usually one person wants more while the other avoids commitment.

The partner seeking commitment:

•Focuses on the connection, hoping it will grow

•Prefers staying over being alone

•Settles for less than they truly want

•Feels anxious, frustrated, and uncertain

•Craves clarity and closeness

The partner avoiding commitment:

•Refuses to commit or end the relationship

•Keeps emotional distance

•May feel guilty but prioritizes personal needs

•Gets their needs met without reciprocating

•Struggles to be emotionally open

These connections can become real relationships only if both partners communicate openly and commit genuinely. Otherwise, waiting around keeps you stuck.

Clarity is essential. Try phrases like:

•“I’d like to define where we are and what we want from each other.”

•“I’m not interested in intimacy outside a committed relationship. Let’s see if we’re compatible first.”

•“Consistency and mutual effort are important to me. I need clarity before moving forward.”

Other tips to protect your emotional well-being:

•Let him pursue: Stop initiating every call or text.

•Say no to last-minute meetups: You deserve real dates, not sporadic hangouts.

•Keep some mystery: Don’t overshare your feelings.

•Show self-respect: Raise your standards. Either he steps up or leaves.

•Sneaky link 2.0: Secret connection with better communication but no commitment

•Soft breakup beta: “We’ll see where this goes” after months

•Canon event: A toxic but necessary life experience

•Ritz quake: Emotional upheaval caused by high charisma

•Lore-bomb: Trauma-dumping someone so intensely they forget your last name

It’s time to stop having relationship problems with people you aren’t actually in a relationship with. Recognize the signs, set boundaries, and prioritize your emotional health. Real love is not a guessing game, it’s peace, clarity, and connection.

Your worth isn’t measured by someone else’s uncertainty. Stop chasing them. Start chasing yourself.