3 things you should know before getting married, according to a top NYC divorce attorney

Before you say ‘I do’, you need to get some facts straight with your partner. Not the wedding dress, not the venue, or the honeymoon destination, but something far more important — things that could define your future. James J. Sexton, a top New York-based divorce attorney who has guided countless couples through the aftermath of failed marriages, shares three essential considerations every couple should address before walking down the aisle. Take a look.

Before you head out to purchase that wedding gown or tux, you need to analyse your parents’ relationships. “What did your parents’ conflicts look like? And how does that translate to yours?” the seasoned divorce attorney said in an earlier We Need To Talk podcast. According to him, knowing about your parents’ relationship or marriage really matters because you can either mirror it or differ from it completely in your own life. “Because people tend, in my experience, to either become like their parents or the opposite,” James J. Sexton said.

You have to be clear about your priorities and understand your partner’s as well. “Assess very clearly what your priorities are. Because I will tell you, an unfortunate reality is that the person who cares less about the well-being of the children has a tactical advantage in custody litigation. So identify what’s important to you, what’s important to your partner, and who they are. Have an honest conversation with yourself and your counsel about who your partner is,” he said. “Because if you’re against someone who’s going to be villainous, potentially, you’ve got to bring a different toolkit to the situation. So, have this frank, honest, open discussion,” the attorney added.

Get a good lawyer. According to the attorney, having proactive legal protection is equally important. Build that relationship before you need one. This isn’t about assuming the worst; it’s about responsible planning. “Shore up the fences and get a good lawyer. And really trust your counsel if you’ve found good counsel. And then trust the fact that sometimes the path to peace is war,” he said.

Marriage is a beautiful commitment. However, before you say ‘I do’, you should know that it is also a legal contract with significant implications. You should know more than what your wedding venue will look like. These three recommendations by a top New York divorce attorney are not about preparing you for failure, but about investing in success. Marriage is complex. While understanding your partner really matters, protecting your interests is also crucial. It is always better to enter marriage with your eyes wide open.